FOH Health Check

[jacksfull]

Hey, I know I'm new around here, so no reason you should listen to me, but... try this for a quick (though maybe temporary) drop:

Every time you want to put something in your mouth make it a cigar. Starve yourself silly, but enjoy a good smoke while you do it.

[First Lady]

Cut off a foot mate guarantee you weigh less. You could loose the **** and balls if your married you ain't using them anyways.

Mel honey you never cease to crack me up

Tampa you are a legend... well done.

Rob has had me scouring the net looking for a Red Wine Diet and I found one.. he is going to buy the book today this is going to be interesting

Lisa

[Van55]

In February I was diagnosed with high cholesterol. The doctor said we would try dietary and lifestyle changes before he would put me on Lipitor or another statin.

I found a thing called the D.A.S.H. diet -- "Dietary Approaches to Stopping Hypertension" which has a side effect of lowering cholesterol and loss of weight.

Just got back from the doctor's office. He was positively amazed that my cholestrol has dropped by 80 points and I have lost 30 pounds.

The D.A.S.H. diet consists of whole grain cereals and breads, 4-5 servings of fruit and 4-5 servings of veggies per day, and cutting portions of proteins to about 4 oz. per meal. The doc told me to go ahead and pig out on Thanksgiving if I want, but I find that when I cheat on the diet (as I do from time to time) I don't feel good physically afterwards.

Strongly recommend the DASH diet. Read more about it here: http://www.dashforhealth.com/?gclid=CI7Cw4...CFWpd5QodDl1UpQ

And here:

http://dashdiet.org/dash_diet_book.asp?goo...CFdx05Qodn2cVog

[kilroy]

I used a combination of low carb/alcohol diet....

You eat as low carb as you can (steak, fish, steamed veggies) and suppliment ALL of the carbs with alcohol.

Or you can go with something I learned from some limey named McKenna and its 4 rules:

- Eat what you want

- Eat ONLY when you're hungry. (actually hungry, munchies not withstanding)

- Eat till you're full (which requires eating slowly so you can recognize when you're full)

- Eat conciously ( pretty much a recap of the last rule )

I never thought it would work but it does!

Oh yeah, I hear crystal meth and long hours in the sauna can burn off fat real quick as well!

[ARRV]

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/wellbeing/...91118-imkh.html

[PigFish]

piggy, what the hell is that photo?

I painted miniatures as a kid and still have some appreciation for the hobby. This is an award winning miniature (not mine) that suited my mood at the time I adopted it. I could not give Rob as Smithy dignity in such a small size as Beavus and Butthead so I though it was time for a change. I think if I Photoshop in a cigar somewhere it will look just like me!!!

[dball]

A) No one's mentioned crack yet?

B ) That BikerFox thing a few posts up is utterly terrifying... and I didn't even click on the link for the site.

[jquest63]

Sugar Busters! - I lost 25 lbs in a month. Will be difficult to maintain during Holidays though. Consider waiting till after new year.

[greenpimp]

OK, then how about aerobic masturbation? It's not technically exercise.

[FireDigger]

Thanks for the advice fella's (except Colt....and anyone who mentioned lots of exercise or reduction in drinking wine).

Rob, haven't you heard of "runner's high"? It's better than crack!

[MIKA27]

Rob.

I dont claim to be an expert in this field nor a dietician, however this kind of change, you should commit to not just for now, but for the long term.

- Eat less Saturated fats and sugars.

- Eat smaller portions of food BUT eat more frequently throughout the day so that your motabolism keeps burning calories. (Alot of people think NOT eating benefits but it does not). Eat fruit, nuts for snacks and DRINK PLENTY of water.

- Cut out as much alcohol from your diet as possible. Your liver stores alot of crap from alcohol such as sugars which is THE cause for the belly. A great idea would be to DETOX and cleanse the liver mate.

- Exercise as regularly as possible and it does not mean you need to necessarily head off to the gym, a brisk solid 30 minute walk per day, possibly after dinner would be beneficial.

- Smoke as many stogies as possible. No calories, no saturated fats or sugars.

By the way..... My bill is in the mail!

Regards,

Michael.

[Ken Gargett]

I could not give Rob as Smithy dignity in such a small size

extraordinary stuff.

and yet smithy has always maintained that dignity and small are not mutually exclusive.

[Don Candido]

Heart and blood pressure fine. Cholestorol under 3. I thought I was big boned but apparently I am fat and due to some sexless friendless tofu eating cow who wrote a health chart for the Government...I am one kilo off Obese and this could lead to my children following same as well as global warming and homeless polar bears.

I have many of the same problems. Everyone knows you are not quitting wine. I suggest getting on a Treadmill or any good Cardio device (not a defibrillator) and don't get off for ten weeks.

Love,

[asmith]

and yet smithy has always maintained that dignity and small are not mutually exclusive.

Thats right Ken, keep on talking fat boy!

[Ken Gargett]

Thats right Ken, keep on talking fat boy!

talk to your boss. now its 'fat boys'!!

[PigFish]

All my Ozbourne friends seem a little edgy tonight! Did the labour party picket and shut down the Vegimite factory on the prison continent?

... perhaps it is the thought of having to bring your own wine to the deck and deal with "Sober" Rob! Lisa... I think you may need to pull the boys together over there. It is even spreading to Colt! - Piggy

[bunburyist]

You could loose the **** and balls if your married you ain't using them anyways.

Nah, he said he wanted to lose serious weight, not drop a few grams.

Clearly, through team effort we have come up with the following FOH DIET:

- drink nothing but lemonade and wine

- smoke unlimited cigars

- shag lots

- do crack

For maximum results, try all of the above at the same time.

[Guibou]

... (currently 100).

you're joking right?

[habone]

5 small meals a day...lots of fluids...and crystal meth. the fat will melt away!

[dochowl]

Might I suggest a Tapeworm?

[Morientes50]

The Churchill diet sounds good. All the cigars and alcohol you can hold. I can't think of that man on a treadmill and he lived a long time.

Also there are tons of old men in cuba that have been smoking since their teens. Of course, most of them are skiny but still. I think stress will kill you much quicker than a few extra pounds. All this worrying about a few pounds is bad for you so I recommend a nice single malt and a cigar.

[Mojo Risin]

Rob, The easiest and quickest way to drop weight is cut out the carbs. No breads, etc. Go for a walk each day while you smoke your stogie.

Good Luck

[Fuzz]

Might I suggest a Tapeworm?

They were once all the rage...

[asmith]

- drink nothing but lemonade and wine

- smoke unlimited cigars

- shag lots

- do crack

Dear God I hope you don't mean this sort of crack?

[ARRV]

Nah, he said he wanted to lose serious weight, not drop a few grams.

Clearly, through team effort we have come up with the following FOH DIET:

- drink nothing but lemonade and wine

- smoke unlimited cigars

- shag lots

- do crack

For maximum results, try all of the above at the same time.

Consult your dealer if pain persists