Day 116 of the Ken Presidency

[El Presidente]

Presidente Gargett and President Obama were hitting it off quite well. The late afternoon was spent with Ken showing Obama around a thronging Havana Vieja...with a cordoned off area controlled by a nervous Cuban and US security. Maximus, Hamlet and Jose walked two paces behind the Presidential pair listening to Kens private tour. Lisa had escorted the First Lady to the Museum of Modern Art. Smithy was in charge of logistics and security communication. He had us all hooked up to microphones in our lapels which we thought was pretty cool. As we walked along behind the Presidents, Hamlet couldn't wait to talk into his lapel.

Hamlet " uno dos tres...uno dos tres....Smithy....does this thing Effing work....over?"

Smithy "Dude....I am a professional....over"

Hamlet "Jiho puta que lo pario! It works!"

Smithy " Actually....I am behind you....you idiot. I made these up so it looked like we have some high tech gadgets. They are acually rubber stoppers from the chair legs in the Presidential dining room"

Jose "I had tin cans at home"

Smithy "we didn't have the string"

Maximus" Focus gentlemen...evesdrop on the presidential conversation just in case we need to step in on a Ken clanger"

Ken was actually holding his own quite well as he strolled through the Plaza de San Franciso.

ken "Obama, it really is a wonderful city. Over there is a favourite memory of my first trip here where I was compared to a young Hemmingway by some charming young ladies"

Hamlet piped in "They were Jinteras Presidente"

Ken " THEY WERE NOT! They wanted nothing but to hand me their phone numbers in case I was in trouble while in Havana. President Obama...you may not know that I speak fluent spanish"

Jose " Havana Phone numbers dont come with a dollar sign in front"

Smithy "Would have been cheaper if they charged by the minute"

Maximus "Gentlemen...behave"

I wasn't overly concerned as Pres Obama tried unsuccessfuly to stifle a chuckle.

Obama "Ken...your shadow cabinet are quite entertaining in comparison to my own"

Ken "They are pirates. Can you believe my security minister Hamlet gave me a white T"Shirt for Christmas with a bullseye on the chest? Worse...Maximus gave me the matching cap!"

Jose " I gave you a bullet proof vest for Christmas Presidente"

Ken " It had a bullet hole in the middle Jose"

Smithy "Maybe you confused the vest with the bullet proof pants?"

Maximus sidled up to the two presidents "It was all in good fun President Obama. Ken hates guns so we were only geeing him up. Lets take this opportunity to walk the Malecon. Smithy has taken the opportunity to clear it so we can all talk privately as we stroll"

Smithy in his Ray Bans theatrically jogged to the front of the group and talked earnestly into the immitation mike in his lapel. He nodded his head a few times and after a brief moment looked straight at Ken and said....... "All Clear Presidente"

There was only a mild swell hitting the Malecon but the sound it makes is one of the highlights of Havana. Combined with the setting sun and soft sea breeze all was well to discuss some serious issues away from hard line advisers.

Jose, "Presidente's, may I offer a cigar? Cohiba Robusto"

Ken " Thank God"

Obama "I shouldn't....but I will make an exception. Gentlemen I have come here to your wonderful country to give you some excellent news regarding the embargo."

In those few words I new that Cuba's world was about to change forever. Tomorrow morning would dawn to see every newspaper on the planet with the front page headline "EMBARGO OVER"

Ken "Let me light your cigar President "O". It will make a great photo for the world press. Lean a little closer."

It was 5 am at the Havana Club Presidential Palace balcony with bottles of Santiago rum in various states of completion as well as an empty bottle of Grey Goose in front of Lisa. She was taking no prisoners in her pickled state.

Lisa " Yuuu .... Doooooofssss"

Ken " it was only a flesh wound....it's not my fault...I hate using those torch thingees"

Jose " My information is Obama has touched down in Miami and is being prepped for reconstructive surgery"

Maximus "Hamlet....why did ken have a torch lighter? You know Ken can only handle Bic lighters?"

Hamlet "My 13 year old son has a torch ligher, my 8 year old niece has a torch lighter!"

Smithy walks in with printouts of the font pages of the morning New York Times and Venezuela Tiempo

Smithy "The Headline in The New York Times is "Obama Attacked"

Ken "That's a little overdone....I mean...he moved his face when I tried to light the cigar!"

Smithy "The Headline in the Venezuela Tiempo is "Viva Presidente Ken!"

Jose "Ken, I have Kim Jong-Il on line one wishing to pass on congratulations. Hamas are on line 2, Taliban on line 3"

Ken "God..what can go wrong next...Sauvignon Blanc?. Pass me that Korean nut case"

"Hewo...Wucky Panda Chineee Weswant"

To be continued.

[maalouly]

haha classic! Keep them coming.

[tigger]

[aavkk]

reconstructive surgery... classic.

[fryguy]

Good stuff Rob.

[kjellfrick]

Great stuff, Rob. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

[mkz]

I´ll buy the book when it comes out!!

[Tampa1257]

Are we even sure if Ken can handle a Bic lighter?

Soft book matches may be more like it...........

[sandholm]

Love it, really really cool,

keep them comming

cheers

[asmith]

Fine work mate.

Even though Ken is President of Cuba it almost feels like you are almost describing actual events at Czar House?

[jquest63]

Well Done! Could this be a story of retribution? Will Ken maintain power or suffer an inglorious end? Or will he be just another scandal ridden politician, seeking carnal knowledge?

[El Presidente]

Fine work mate.

Even though Ken is President of Cuba it almost feels like you are almost describing actual events at Czar House?

I have plenty of material to work with Smithy

[laficion]

Will Ken soon learn how to light a cigar ? will there be a new revenge

from the US? what will happen next? WE WILL STAY TUNED TO Radio

WKEN .FM Cuba

[thechenman]

ROTFL...keep the stories coming Prez...

[First Lady]

Rob only one bottle of Grey Goose.... must have been a slow night Jimmy knows what I am like after the first function in NY when I was dancing in the bar .... that was a fun night..

[Colt45]

Rob only one bottle of Grey Goose.... must have been a slow night Jimmy knows what I am like after the first function in NY when I was dancing in the bar .... that was a fun night..

And you get on Rob about his drinking too much.......

(of course, he does start rather early....)

[First Lady]

And you get on Rob about his drinking too much.......

(of course, he does start rather early....)

I have slowed down now but Rob took over for me