El Presidente Posted May 20, 2008 Posted May 20, 2008 Tuesday…..a day in the life of a cigar retailer. I arrive at work after breakfast 8:45 am……in a lousy mood. Aussie dollar has hit 27 year highs against the USD. When I started this business in 1997 it was 46 cents Aussie to the USD….now 96 cents with parity looming. Most cigar purchases by distributors from Habanos s.a are purchased in Euro’s so at the end of the day for international sales (priced in the main in USD) you either increase the price or bare the cost. I received an interesting e-mail at breakfast from a Swiss Custom house proposing looking at drop shipping out of Switzerland. Effectively buy in euro’s and ship in euro’s/usd. Yet, the reality is that we lose quality control from such an operation. Pass at least for now. Second e-mail was one from Fed Government insider. New Government is considering passing a law banning mail order/internet tobacco sales through Australian states. We had a meeting on this three weeks ago and some more information has come to light. Schedule follow up meeting (drinks on deck) for next week. Arrive at Czar house in a mood resembling a black dog. Lise reads my mood straight away…”Honey…anything I can do?”. I can’t stay mad…she is a treasure. This morning she makes me a coffee while I go into the Humidor and check RH/Temp. Winter hitting us in Australia and subtle changes need to be made. Back on the deck with an aged Partagas Lusi (magnificent….part of the PCC vintage release) and I start on my e-mails leaving the difficult ones until last. I can be scathing when in a shithouse mood and past experience has taught me better than to respond to them upfront. A selection of e-mails which goad me. • “My cigars don’t taste right” Answer….leave them for 30 days. Try again. No problem replacing but they need time to settle. • “My cigars are too dark…I like Colorado….I should have mentioned it”: Answer….For f##k sake son…let me know…I mean I can’t choose cigars using telepathy!. Toughen the f##K up. I delete response and write again…..”We guarantee our product…let them rest for 30 days and try one. Happy to replace balance”. Note to Lisa….If he complains after 30 days….replace and never supply again. • “My cigars are drawing tight” (new client…I treat seasoned clients with more respect). Answer…What is your humidity? Get it down to 63-65% …get some Pucks. However if they are indeed plugged it could be our error. Lise will give you details to ship back and we will replace. We will follow up with our assessment ( I will smoke two of the most hard packed cigars). If they draw well (Cuban Draw) ….note to Lisa…..do not supply again as he has no iota. • “My cigars are too strong tasting. Are they genuine?” Where the hell do I start? LISA!!!! Who referred this imbecile to us? Answer….welcome to the world of Cuban cigars….upfront they may be fuller in body….bla bla bla. Thankfully, Don Candido, Fatcigar and a few others send me e-mails which make me laugh. God bless them. Check the Friends of Habanos and Friends of ORIS forums. All good. Quickly check a few others. Would like to spend longer but time is short. It is 11am before I know it. No time for Poker as I want to call Angelo, CEO of Pacific Cigars Australia. “Where the hell are my 2008 releases!!!!!!” Angelo is a good guy and gives me a rough timeframe. He knows me well and senses my mood….placate and avoid. I open a bottle of Blue Pyranese Reserve shiraz 2003 of which I bought a case. Crap wine. Will serve it at the Dinner function Wednesday. Fire up another Partagas D 4 07 I tasted yesterday (sensational). Call Havana and speak to Jose (Habanos s.a) and then Hamlet. I love those guys. I have a member visiting Havana next month so I request a Hamlet cigar order, private tours etc. 1pm and into a third glass of wine (yes..I need to cut down). I don’t eat lunch as a rule (no need after a hearty breakfast) and Diana gives me shipping update. “All delivered…..everything in the air going well” Lisa posts the new sale which I approved. The next few days will be busy. I head the humidor and select boxes requested by private clients via e-mail and telephone (all welcome to request). E-mail my findings and recommendations. 2pm and our thoughts turn to tomorrows State of Origin Rugby Dinner (interstate Rugby with big screen held at Czar house). $35 per head (beers, wine, cigars, steak sandwiches included) but no strippers. The no strippers causes a stink amongst members but I hold firm. Lisa (madam Fleiss) agrees, signs off and finalises preparations. We need no more police at our events !LOL! 3pm and I have finished a bottle of wine. Refuse to open a second but I sneak in a glass of Camus Cognac. Light another PSD4…..I am loving them. Lisa finishes for the day as she needs to pick up supplies and make coleslaw for tomorrows dinner (did I mention I love her?). PCC call and want an opinion for 2009 RR releases. I am given a list of fatties. I go into a tirade. 4pm and I sneak another glass of Camus cognac. Listening to Dido on the stereo and all is good. Courier drivers pick up and I invite them to tomorrow nights function (I advise no strippers) …they pass. Dusk now and I can see a full moon rising from the deck of Czar house. Beautiful time of day. I don’t have too much more to do than review the new FOH forum and test out the Multi Lingual capacity. Once I sober up I will head home. Maybe time for another PSD4. 8pm….I catch a cab.
BigSlick Posted May 20, 2008 Posted May 20, 2008 Great post Rob! Sounds like a tough day, but still beats the **** out of my job!!! :-D
yossie Posted May 20, 2008 Posted May 20, 2008 You drank too much.. Shrink regards you as an alcoholholic:-D
Ken Gargett Posted May 20, 2008 Posted May 20, 2008 fantastic stuff. you are saving me heaps on valium. can't sleep a night? now, just check out the forum. was rip van winkle an early member?
El Presidente Posted May 21, 2008 Author Posted May 21, 2008 » fantastic stuff. you are saving me heaps on valium. » can't sleep a night? now, just check out the forum. was rip van winkle an » early member? You rang me 15 minutes ago bleating how you have editors up your arse looking for late articles. May I suggest you actually DO some work as opposed to trolling the internet for bizarre photo's to add to your hard drive collection ;-)
Tampa1257 Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 Sounds like Rob has been having a rough week thus far, that reminds me that I should place him on a Porn Group so that all the "Good Stuff" gets forwarded to him for his review and approval. Rob WTF???? No Strippers????? Think 2001 Space Odysey and Mons Venus while in Tampa!!!!:-D
El Presidente Posted May 21, 2008 Author Posted May 21, 2008 » Sounds like Rob has been having a rough week thus far, that reminds me that » I should place him on a Porn Group so that all the "Good Stuff" gets » forwarded to him for his review and approval. Rob WTF???? No » Strippers????? » » Think 2001 Space Odysey and Mons Venus while in Tampa!!!!:-D May I add Tampa that Ken telephoned to say he may have too much work to attend the function tonight. Read between the lines....no strippers....no Ken. Pitifull seriously :-D
Ken Gargett Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 » May I add Tampa that Ken telephoned to say he may have too much work to » attend the function tonight. » » Read between the lines....no strippers....no Ken. » » Pitifull seriously :-D be fair. i told you this last week (mind you, that was moments after you had flagged no strippers this year, but honesly, the things are mutually exclusive). now, editors await.
asmith Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 Tuesady? Mate that was everyday if I recall correctly. If it wasn't Rob in a shity mood it was Lisa. Whoever it was I just had to duck and weave, duck and weave. No Strippers????
ARRV Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 » » Second e-mail was one from Fed Government insider. New Government is » considering passing a law banning mail order/internet tobacco sales » through Australian states. We had a meeting on this three weeks ago and » some more information has come to light. Schedule follow up meeting » (drinks on deck) for next week. » Are they f*cking serious? Section 92 of the Constitution - freedom of trade between states - anyone?? Guess they will just have each state pass uniform laws banning the trade thereby bypassing the Constitution. Just as the drafters intended ......... :-( Simply fantastic. Welcome to the People's Democratic Republic of Australia with your dear leader, friendly Chairman Rudd. Why doesn't he just pass out the little red book now and get it over and done with. This is what happens when a lifetime public servant becomes PM - government gone mad.
shortsqueeze Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 » Sounds like Rob has been having a rough week thus far, that reminds me that » I should place him on a Porn Group so that all the "Good Stuff" gets » forwarded to him for his review and approval. Rob WTF???? No » Strippers????? » » Think 2001 Space Odysey and Mons Venus while in Tampa!!!!:-D Did I love "The Mons" during my trips to Tampa Bay! Great place, highly recommended
Colt45 Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 » » Welcome to the People's Democratic Republic of Australia with your dear » leader, friendly Chairman Rudd. » » Why doesn't he just pass out the little red book now and get it over and » done with. See what happens when you hand in your guns.......
crasmith Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 Damn, Rob! That can make you old quick! On second thought, it's fun getting there! :-)
habanablue Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 » Second e-mail was one from Fed Government insider. New Government is » considering passing a law banning mail order/internet tobacco sales » through Australian states. We had a meeting on this three weeks ago and » some more information has come to light. Schedule follow up meeting » (drinks on deck) for next week. Mate you've put me in a bad mood now! and what ARRV said!
zuma Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 » » Second e-mail was one from Fed Government insider. New Government is considering passing a law banning mail order/internet tobacco sales through Australian states. We had a meeting on this three weeks ago and some more information has come to light. Schedule follow up meeting (drinks on deck) for next week. » » Mate you've put me in a bad mood now! » » and what ARRV said! Time for Western Australia to declare independence...
SmokinAl Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 » Time for Western Australia to declare independence... Do that and I'm moving to WA.
Guest Ninzi Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 » What a life. Just remember REHAB' is for QUITTERS!:-D
Guest rob Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 Well written Pres. Even though it's pretty clear you had a shitty day it was an entertaining read because of the spin you put on it. I hope your week gets better.
northo Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 » » Listening to Dido on the » stereo and all is good. Courier drivers pick up and I invite them to » tomorrow nights function (I advise no strippers) …they pass. » No strippers!?... Dido!?!? Is there something you need to tell us Rob?
n2advnture Posted May 21, 2008 Posted May 21, 2008 LOL! Awesome post "Golden Boy"! BTW - Email coming in regards to one of the topics ~Mark
tigger Posted May 22, 2008 Posted May 22, 2008 » PCC call and want an opinion for 2009 RR releases. I am given a list of » fatties. I go into a tirade. Bless you, sir. :-)
mkz Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 » 3pm and I have finished a bottle of wine... Sorry... couldn´t resist it... :-P
Tampa1257 Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Always wondered what happen to Fat Bastard............. »
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