summer in brisbane

[Ken Gargett]

mate sent this through. i have seen it elsewhere for mount isa and other places but thought it might strike a cord with some.

DIARY OF A BRISBANE SUMMER (BY A WHINGEING POM)

August 31st

Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!!

Now this is a city that knows how to live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm Balmy evenings.

What a place!

I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah.

It was beautiful.

I've finally found my home.

I love it here.

September 13th:

Really heating up.

Got to 35 today.

Not a problem.

Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.

What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.

I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today.

Lots of palms and rocks.

What a breeze to maintain.

No more mowing lawn for me.

Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week.

How do people get used to this kind of heat?

At least today it's kind of windy though, but

getting used to the heat and humidity is taking

longer that I expected.

October 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool.

Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.

Missed 3 days of work.

What a daft thing to do.

I learnt my lesson though.

Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th:

I didn't see Kitty our cat, sneaking into the car before

I left this morning.

By the time I got to the hot car at lunchtime, Kitty had

died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank

out $3,000 worth of leather upholstery.

I told the kids that she ran away.

The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat ****.

I learnt my lesson though.

No more pets in this heat.

October 25th:

The wind gives me the shits.

It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!

And it's as hot as hell.

The air conditioner is on the blink and the AC

repairman charged $200 just to drive over and

tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.

Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside.

Why did I ever come here?

November 4th:

It's 35 degrees.

Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today.

It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25,

but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like

it's about 30.

Stupid repairman.

I hate this bloody place.

November 8th:

If another smartass says, "Hot enough for you today?"

I'm going to throttle him.

Bloody heat.

By the time I get to work the car's radiator is boiling

over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

November 9th:

Tried to run some errands after work.

Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car.

I thought my ass was on fire.

I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs.

Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

November 10th:

The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and

sunny.

Hot and sunny.

Hot and sunny.

It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the

weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place?

Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms will

dry up and blow into the bloody pool.

Even the palms can't live in this heat.

November 14th:

Welcome to HELL!!!

Temperature got to 38 today.

Now the air conditioner in my car has gone.

The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today,

mate?"

My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my ass out of

jail for assaulting the repairman.

Bloody Brisbane.

What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

December 1st:

WHAT?????

This is the first day of summer????

You are fuc*ing kidding me!

[Ginseng]

» mate sent this through. i have seen it elsewhere for mount isa and other

» places but thought it might strike a cord with some.

»

» DIARY OF A BRISBANE SUMMER (BY A WHINGEING POM)

»

» August 31st

Thanks for the chuckle, Ken.

It sounds like the parts of Texas and Southern California that I've visited. I'm not a warm weather bloke and so I just don't understand how some folks stand it. I'd rather be cold and have to suit up than sweat my bum off.

Wilkey

[Guest Warren]

Ken if you swap whingeing Pom for whingeing Missouri girl, that's my wife to a tee.

Every summer it's the same bloody thing.

[Mike33]

» Ken if you swap whingeing Pom for whingeing Missouri girl, that's my wife

» to a tee.

» Every summer it's the same bloody thing.

Hell, most summers in Missouri we have heat indexes of at least 100 about half the time. Actual temps. are around 90 most of the time, but several weeks it gets into the upper 90s. I feel the pain.....the humidity is what kills us here!

[Colt45]

I'd rather sweat than shiver any time.

[smokum]

» I'd rather sweat than shiver any time.

Going 100mph on a snowmobile is the most fun you can have with your pants on. But that was in the younger years. I'm tired of freezing....give me the heat anytime...

[Guest Warren]

» » Ken if you swap whingeing Pom for whingeing Missouri girl, that's my

» wife

» » to a tee.

» » Every summer it's the same bloody thing.

»

» Hell, most summers in Missouri we have heat indexes of at least 100 about

» half the time. Actual temps. are around 90 most of the time, but several

» weeks it gets into the upper 90s. I feel the pain.....the humidity is

» what kills us here!

Hi Mike I'm a Brisbane boy but I have spent a couple of summers and winters in Missouri and was amazed by the extremes that you experience over there. The one thing you don't experience is humidity.

One summer I spent in Columbia Mo. it got to about 90 F , that's about 32 C. What got me was that it was a , take your breath away dry heat. Give me that any day. Here in Brisbane Queensland our average summer is around 100 a good deal of the time , a couple of years ago it got to about 106 during the day and settled to about 92 around midnight and we're talking wet , ringing wet humidity. Sitting in a sauna humidity. The tropics you gotta love it.