First Lady Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 I like this kid!!! :-D He might just grow up to be Rob LOLOL A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Neville . He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little Neville says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream . The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Neville replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking." LITTLE Neville ON MATH (Part 2) Little Neville returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I said "6", replies Neville . "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3x2?'" "What's the f..... difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!" LITTLE Neville ON ENGLISH Little Neville goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example o f a multi-syllable word?" Neville says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Neville , that's a mouthful." Little Neville says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob." LITTLE Neville ON GRAMMAR Little Neville was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, 'Now, Neville , that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Neville , thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs , you'd be a TEN!" LITTLE Neville ON GRAMMAR (Part 2) One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Neville . "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!'" LITTLE Neville ON GETTING OLDER Little Neville was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little Neville replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little Neville answered, "No, he minded his own f....... business.
shrink Posted September 3, 2007 Posted September 3, 2007 LITTLE Neville ON SEX EDUCATION A teacher is explaining to her elementary sex education class, "There are lots of ways to have sex. Some people enjoy oral sex, and some people like anal sex." A girl in the class looks disgusted. She asks, "Anal sex? Is it possible to get pregnant that way?" Little Neville call out, "Sure. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
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