H. Upmann No.2 [EPO SEP 22] (FRCM25)

[TacoSauce]

In a previous review I put forward the thesis that "Cuban figurados are Ass." I based this on my experience with the Diplomaticos No.2 smoked in the review, as well as 30 figurados across various marcas that I had smoked previously. Out of this set of 31 sticks, the only passable smokes were 2 BBF and one HdM Epi. No.3. The remaining 28 sticks were various degrees of "Ass" due to construction issues -- mostly they were plugged and overpacked beyond what a PerfectDraw can fix. This set of experiences lead to my claim that 90% of Cuban figurados are plugged and that Cuban figurados are "Ass."

In that thread some took exception to my thesis and wondered how this could be true. Perhaps my storage was problematic? Nope. Everything stored in 62 or 65% Boveda controlled coolidors in a temperature controlled room. Could it be that I just have very bad luck? Well, now that got me thinking... if I am suffering from bad luck, how can I turn the tables on Lady Luck? Inspired by work done by @Bijan, I decided to weigh all the remaining cigars in my box of H. Upmann No.2 [EPO SEP 22] and pull out an exemplary stick with the correct weight. Haha, Lady Luck, you are no match for me and my new electronic scale! 

I weighed out the remaining 23 sticks and the weight distribution is shown in the boxplot below. The expected weight is 14.26 grams (solid horizontal line). We can see that 9 sticks fall within the expected weight +/- 10% and the remainder were on the heavier side. I took the 6 sticks with weights closest to the expected value and then randomly selected one to smoke. Haha, Lady Luck, the deck is now stacked in my favor. Victory is within reach! 

Review:

It was a beautiful day, the spring weather had finally started to peek through and I had enough time on my hands to pick a longer stick. Time for the Upmann No.2 to shine! Pre-light, the mottled looking wrapper gave off the classic, rich smell of hay. After clipping, I also got light hay on the cold draw. Unfortunately, the draw was tight. I was taking no chances with this stick, so I clipped the end three more times -- taking it down close to the end of the cap. The draw was much better than before: with some resistance remaining, but seemingly good airflow. Running my fingers up and down the length of the stick to check for plugs, I found no obvious hard spots. However, I did observe that the pack was very uneven. I could feel peaks and valleys under the wrapper wherever I placed my fingers -- It was like reading braille along the length of the stick.

After lighting, the initial flavor notes were bitter wood and tar. Zero Upmann character here. While I was getting airflow through the cigar, the smoke production was lower than expected. The stick immediately started canoeing in multiple spots around the burn line. These were the under-filled trough areas I noticed when I examined the stick earlier. The upside to this was that since the under-filled spots weren't continuous, each canoe spot would fix itself after about 1/2 inch, however new canoe spots were constantly forming so the overall burn remained very wonky.

Up to the half-way point, the flavor remained harsh, bitter, muddled wood and tar (aka "Ass") and the smoke production remained underwhelming. At the half-way point there was one brief moment where I experienced some Upmann baking spice. This lasted about 1 minute and then those notes completely disappeared. At the start of the final third, the intensity of the Ass flavor ramped up to full. It was disgusting. I tossed the stick at this point.

Rating: "Ass"

Conclusion: By choosing a stick of proper weight, I was able to experience a Cuban figurado that wasn't completely plugged. For this I feel blessed. However, construction was still poor and this resulted in the stick tasting like Ass. My hubris was too great and Lady Luck did not smile upon me. 

 

[Chas.Alpha]

Wow. I have never had a bad experience with a Cuban figurado. A few marginal maybe. Never bad.

Did you try listening to a few cuts by Frank Sinatra before you smoked them? I'm not sayin' this would change anything... 

[TacoSauce]

5 minutes ago, Chas.Alpha said:

Did you try listening to a few cuts by Frank Sinatra before you smoked them? I'm not sayin' this would change anything... 

I'll add it to the list! Ritual incantations are next in line, but I can slot your idea in after that. 

[karp]

Great review - sorry it wasn’t a great smoke though. Bad construction for sure. Have you tried recent P2s or Monte 2s? They’re really good imho. Maybe will change your mind! 

[TacoSauce]

11 minutes ago, karp said:

Have you tried recent P2s or Monte 2s? They’re really good imho

I have a box of 10 P2s from SER JUL 23. First one I took from the box was so heavily packed the vertically stacked tobacco showing after cutting the cap appeared to be a smooth & solid wall with no discernible separation between leaves 

Needless to say, I didn't even bother trying to smoke that stick. Next, I think I will use my new scale to weigh the remaining P2 sticks in that box and try this experiment again.

[eaglebear29]

This is great. I completely forgot all about weighing cigars, thank you. I wonder now if the heaver ones would be best left for the really long term aging to see if they'll loosen up even a tad? This is helpful, I'm gonna have to break the scale out now.

Hopefully your bad luck streak is over. I have a couple pyramids I haven't smoked yet, but did a clip and a draw, and they were pretty packed. I let them sit like that in the little travel humidor and now they definitely draw better. I think it helped them "dry box" a little, or at least get a little more moisture out of the head. Sounds like you've tried just about everything though.

[gormag38]

As a self proclaimed Upmann whore, I'm surprised honestly. I've got the same box and code and have had great luck with these. None seem to burn bad and certainly none have that harsh taste you're speaking of. P2s and BBFs are probably the second most consistent figurados in the habanos lineup imo. I've had some downright terrible Monte 2s and some amazing ones too. I hope somewhere along the line you'll get to have some of the amazing ones. 

[TacoSauce]

6 hours ago, gormag38 said:

I've got the same box and code and have had great luck with these.

Thanks, that is promising! I've only had two from my box (and given one away -- sorry to whomever received that one! ). The first was super-plugged and the second is described above. I've got a few more shots on goal to find a good one. In the meantime however, I'm not pursuing these, so my wallet is thankful!

16 hours ago, eaglebear29 said:

I wonder now if the heaver ones would be best left for the really long term aging to see if they'll loosen up even a tad? This is helpful, I'm gonna have to break the scale out now.

Yes! This is exactly the plan. I will weigh entire boxes and then sort the sticks by weight when I put them back in the box. Then, every time I go to smoke one, I will pick the lightest stick left in the box. I'm hoping this will increase the chance of getting a smokable stick, while simultaneously giving the heavy sticks more time to "thin out." While this is mainly needed for figurados, I plan to do it for all boxes if it can provide some benefit.

[Lucas Buck]

No idea how many hundreds of figurados I’ve smoked but I don’t recall a single plugged one ever. Maybe my luck is grand? Recently smoked some from the notorious ‘99-‘01 poor construction years and even they were fine. Hope your luck turns soon!

[joeypots]

Big Boveda packs can read a couple of % higher than they are rated. In my desk top a 62% Boveda ran 65% all winter. Use 58s. My experience has been that any bitter taste is a product of moisture. Almost all of my cigars got good when I accepted that they belong at 60% RH. 

[TacoSauce]

5 hours ago, joeypots said:

Big Boveda packs can read a couple of % higher than they are rated. In my desk top a 62% Boveda ran 65% all winter. Use 58s. My experience has been that any bitter taste is a product of moisture. Almost all of my cigars got good when I accepted that they belong at 60% RH. 

Interesting, I didn't realize they even sold 58% Boveda packs!

[Lucas Buck]

5 hours ago, joeypots said:

Big Boveda packs can read a couple of % higher than they are rated. In my desk top a 62% Boveda ran 65% all winter. Use 58s. My experience has been that any bitter taste is a product of moisture. Almost all of my cigars got good when I accepted that they belong at 60% RH. 

60% for the win! This is where I’ve been at almost 25 years now. 

[TacoSauce]

11 minutes ago, Lucas Buck said:

60% for the win! This is where I’ve been at almost 25 years now. 

The coolidor with the Upmann No.2s is stocked with 62% Bovedas and the hydrometer usually reads 61%. While I agree that the humidity will often be a couple of percent above the boveda rating when used in an air-tight tupperdore, Coolidors without a gasket typically run closer to the stated percentage in my experience.

[Lucas Buck]

Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is your issue, just agreeing with @joeypots as to my preferred rh. 

[gormag38]

5 hours ago, joeypots said:

Big Boveda packs can read a couple of % higher than they are rated. In my desk top a 62% Boveda ran 65% all winter.

This is especially true in coolerdors/tuppers or basically anything that is a completely closed systems. Like many others here, when I first started out I had some bad luck with harsh tastes. Once I lowered to 62 bovedas and got things equilibrated I didn't have that issue. Also not saying this is your issue OP. Just sharing my experience is all.

[Mike Mecklenburg]

I have been around a long time and watched my father store cigars and never heard of that kind of bad luck. I don't know the full story of where you live, environment, home and storage method to comment. If you answer these question I can provide you with my 2 cents BOTL.

[eaglebear29]

On 3/19/2025 at 6:51 AM, joeypots said:

Big Boveda packs can read a couple of % higher than they are rated. In my desk top a 62% Boveda ran 65% all winter. Use 58s. My experience has been that any bitter taste is a product of moisture. Almost all of my cigars got good when I accepted that they belong at 60% RH. 

Definitely worth a go all my tupperdors big and small all have 58%'s I keep the 62%s for the NW (CCs run 58-62 mainly around 62 for the year, NW around 64-66 but sit around 65. I've noticed a lot more less plugs in CC's). I live in a very humid climate though too, where as in the room I have to run a dehumidifier set for 60% just to keep my boxes from spiking when I shuffle things around.

[joeypots]

On 3/21/2025 at 8:43 AM, eaglebear29 said:

Definitely worth a go all my tupperdors big and small all have 58%'s I keep the 62%s for the NW (CCs run 58-62 mainly around 62 for the year, NW around 64-66 but sit around 65. I've noticed a lot more less plugs in CC's). I live in a very humid climate though too, where as in the room I have to run a dehumidifier set for 60% just to keep my boxes from spiking when I shuffle things around.

I have trouble keeping my cigars dry during the humid months. It’s harder to keep humidity low than increasing it. I use these a lot.

Dry & Dry 10 Gram [30 Packets] Silica Gel Packets