FOH DECK DISCUSSION: Hypothetical......"which would be the first to go"

[El Presidente]

This was a FOH deck discussion 

You purchase a lamp at a roadside dollar store on a weekend country drive.  I don't know why you are purchasing a lamp...work with me here 

Blow and behold it turns out to be a magical lamp and out comes a genie who grants you one wish. Yes, cost of living pressures has reduced the traditional three wishes to one.  Blame covid and quantative easing.

Good news.....no limits...you can have whatever you wish. 

HOWEVER, YOU HAVE TO PERMANENTLY GIVE UP ONE OF THE POLL OPTIONS.

Which do you give up? 

 

 

[cnov]

Bit too easy for me without a dog.

With kids and a small business there's no chance I want anymore responsibility than a cat, you can leave a bucket of water and another of dry cat food and our cat wouldn't even notice we're on holiday nor give a shit when we return, a confident animal that doesn't bother me, an unwritten mutual agreement. The hypothetical mutt gets it.

[Ken Gargett]

On 1/4/2025 at 9:00 AM, El Presidente said:

This was a FOH deck discussion 

You purchase a lamp at a roadside dollar store on a weekend country drive.  I don't know why you are purchasing a lamp...work with me here 

Blow and behold it turns out to be a magical lamp and out comes a genie who grants you Two wishes. Yes, cost of living pressures has reduced the traditional three wishes to one. Blame covid and quantative easing.

Good news.....no limits...you can have whatever you wish. 

HOWEVER, YOU HAVE TO PERMANENTLY GIVE UP ONE OF THE POLL OPTIONS.

Which do you give up? 

 

 

i take it Di won't be reading the forum today or she might be getting nervous. 

[Chibearsv]

6 month girlfriend, see ya. In 6 months, I’ll have another. Takes longer to train a new dog or build a cigar stash. 😜

[Ford2112]

I can't keep a woman so she's gone.

[ha_banos]

Heh seems a lot of wannabe bachelor's around these parts. No contest!

[riderpride]

I want no part of a relationship where I'm given ultimatums. It's a slippery slope after that.

Two of those three give me joy and peace. 

Cheers

[Chas.Alpha]

Too easy.

[joeypots]

Let me check with the wife and I’ll get back to you.

[Greenhorn2]

There's nothing more loyal and faithful than a good dog. There's nothing more relaxing/pleasurable than a good cigar. I'll stop right here with my comment.

[Ford2112]

Women. Can't live with 'em.

[chasy]

8 heathens have said dog?!?!

[riderpride]

24 minutes ago, chasy said:

8 heathens have said dog?!?!

And would rather stay with someone who hasn't deleted a Tinder profile yet

Cheers

[chasy]

21 hours ago, Chibearsv said:

6 month girlfriend, see ya. In 6 months, I’ll have another. Takes longer to train a new dog or build a cigar stash. 😜

 Could make a strong argument that the perfect amount of time for a girlfriend is 6 months…

[Tunkat92]

2 hours ago, chasy said:

8 heathens have said dog?!?!

Even scarier are the ones that said cigars.

[El Presidente]

22 hours ago, Ken Gargett said:

i take it Di won't be reading the forum today or she might be getting nervous. 

She's safe for the time being.

We don't have a dog yet. 

[Ken Gargett]

26 minutes ago, El Presidente said:

She's safe for the time being.

We don't have a dog yet. 

very glad to hear it but please tell me you didn't run over another one? 

[westg]

11 hours ago, joeypots said:

Let me check with the wife and I’ll get back to you.

It's been great. We will miss you. 😎🌴

[BoliDan]

I'm guessing this will vary on cigar collection size. Easy get rid of the girlfriend for me. Keep cigars and woofers.

[MickVanWinkle]

Does this assume the wife of over 6 months is safe? 

[zeedubbya]

Feel like I made this decision in 2019…or maybe she did 🤔 It might be time to turn that humidity down a smidge...after I let the dog out of course! 😊 

[riderpride]

1 hour ago, MickVanWinkle said:

Does this assume the wife of over 6 months is safe? 

Yes, your mistress is not 

Cheers!

[Lamboinee]

I'd have to ditch my girlfriend first. My wife hates her and she's allergic to to my dogs.

Next would be Lucy, one of my dogs. She's not a great dog and we don't really understand each other. Besides I have another dog that I love dearly.

Although....if I ditch my cigars will my home owners insurance cover them?

[bmac]

Dog and cigars stay.

[TomsRibs210]

On 1/4/2025 at 9:00 AM, El Presidente said:

This was a FOH deck discussion 

You purchase a lamp at a roadside dollar store on a weekend country drive.  I don't know why you are purchasing a lamp...work with me here 

Blow and behold it turns out to be a magical lamp and out comes a genie who grants you one wish. Yes, cost of living pressures has reduced the traditional three wishes to one.  Blame covid and quantative easing.

Good news.....no limits...you can have whatever you wish. 

HOWEVER, YOU HAVE TO PERMANENTLY GIVE UP ONE OF THE POLL OPTIONS.

Which do you give up? 

 

 

This reminds me of my favorite joke of all-time:

 

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."

The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50

The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.

The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.

The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish. First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.

Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.

Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish. First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more. Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already. Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways. Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."

Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says: "Guys, I think I fucked up."