Chuck Norris...

[MoeFOH]

I don't know why they make me chuckle... but they do... I'm an idiot, I guess. 

Give us ya best Chuck Norris jokes, bits, memes, whatnot... 

[Ford2112]

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat 😂😂

[TheFullMontecristo]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

[NSXCIGAR]

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died.

[westg]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

[westg]

The quickest way to a man's heart ❤️ is with Chuck Norris's fist 👊 

[hangten]

When Chuck Norris does a pushup he doesn't push himsuelf up. He is actually pushing the world down.

[Fuzz]

Chuck Norris can stand still faster than you can run.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his bedroom. It's not dead, it's just too scared to move.

Death had a near Chuck Norris experience once.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.

When he goes to sleep at night, the Bogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris

Behind Chuck Norris’s beard there is not a chin. There’s another fist.

Chuck Norris's PIN is the last 4 digits of pi.

Chuck Norris can win a game of chess with just one pawn. Chuckmate.

When Chuck Norris exercises on his Total Gym, he doesn't get fitter, the machine does.

When Chuck Norris walks into a room, he doesn't need to turn on the lights. The darkness retreats in fear.

The Lock Ness Monster claims to have seen Chuck Norris once.

If you look into a mirror and whisper "Chuck Norris" three times, he will appear and roundhouse kick you directly to Hell.

Technically, Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. Death is just too afraid to tell him.

 

[Li Bai]

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.

Twice.

[Li Bai]

Chuck Norris has no father.

Nobody b*ngs Chuck Norris' mother.

[cigcars]

[rcarlson]

[helix]

When opportunity knocks on Chuck's door and he's not home opportunity waits.

Chuck's mom has a tattoo which says Son.

When Chuck was leaving home he told his Dad he had to now be the man of the house.

[TheFullMontecristo]

 

[Ford2112]

 

 

[Phonics]

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake. After 3 days of suffering... the rattlesnake died.

On the bottom of China is a tag that says "Made in Chuck Norris."
 

[Ford2112]

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

[Bada_Bing_NJ]

Chuck Norris jokes never get old!

Pulled out a vintage T-shirt 14+yrs 😆 

[westg]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C21S760seu5/?igsh=am9zM3I2M2R6eWN6

[La_Tigre]

 

Out of curiousity, has anyone tried the Lone Wolf brand?

[MoeFOH]

[Ford2112]

There are no discontinued vitolas, only the cigars Chuck Norris has allowed to exist.

[unaslob]

My first “app” on a smartphone was a Chuck Norris facts generator. Would make my day everyday. I’ll leave you with my favorite,

“For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.”

[rckymtn22]

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France twice…on a stationary bike.

[JohnS]

On 4/15/2024 at 11:35 AM, westg said:

The quickest way to a man's heart ❤️ is with Chuck Norris's fist 👊 

I'm still laughing at this one a month later! 😂