Scientists confirm belief that people smoking a cigar in their profile pictures are utter wankers

[El Presidente]

https://newsthump.com/2023/08/11/scientists-confirm-belief-that-people-smoking-a-cigar-in-their-profile-pictures-are-utter-wankers/

Scientists confirm belief that people smoking a cigar in their profile pictures are utter wankers

 by Arabin Patson14 hours ago

A year-long wide study of over 87 million social media profiles has scientifically confirmed what used to be received folk wisdom; that people with a close-up of their head smoking a large cigar are irredeemable pricks who should be avoided at all costs.

Professor Simon Williams, who led the study, said that confirming common wisdom with scientific methods could help explain why people can often discern from just one picture who is a tolerable person and who is the type of bellend who calls pub staff ‘barkeep’.

[cnov]

I'd say scientists are fairly on the money! I might post the odd pic here or there, but jeez no profile pic, how will people identify me as lower middle or working if I do that?

[yossie]

Thanks for letting me be informed Rob's personality!

[Nevrknow]

Avoided at all cost. Priceless.

Got told once I look mean. I said I am. Move.

😁

[JohnS]

So it's time that @El Presidente updates his FoH profile pic? Or what about @ATGroom smoking a glorious Montecristo A in his profile pic? 😂

[Ford2112]

I'm guilty

[Woody Hayes]

How did Winston Churchill get away with it ???

[MagicalBikeRide]

2 hours ago, Woody Hayes said:

How did Winston Churchill get away with it ???

Did he? 🙂

[BrightonCorgi]

How about chainsaw in hands, cigar in mouth?  Says practical and a multi-tasker.

[shokao]

Don’t know how to react…

[BoliDan]

I knew it!

[Hammer Smokin']

can confirm

[Drguano]

“We surveyed millions of profiles, isolated the ones with a cigar and went to look for other signs of wankery.

“In 99.78% of cases we could find evidence of being an arsewipe such as discussing the release of a new model of German car, commenting ‘spot on’ on a politician’s feed, referring to male colleagues as ‘the lads’ or going on holiday to Dubai.”

My new favorite expression: "other signs of wankery" or 'OSW'

[99call]

Bellends like Joe Rogan and Andrew Tate haven't done us any favours. Here in the UK you would struggle to walk down the street (anywhere outside of London) smoking a cigar. Within an instant you would be hazed with drunks going "look at this dickhead! Smoking his 'la de daaaas'".   I love cigars, but I must confess I hate the part of the cigar world of Ponce's wanting to pose with cigars.  I think cigars unfortunately do attract a lot of dandy dickheads. They are generally done with the 'hobby' after 3 cigars and 1000 Instagram images.

[SirVantes]

“We surveyed millions of profiles, isolated the ones with a cigar and went to look for other signs of wankery."

That's not how the scientific method works.  Using the "scientific study" trope is lazy satire to begin with; not knowing how scientific studies work just makes it bad, unfunny writing.

[Chas.Alpha]

Hmmm…

[El Presidente]

5 hours ago, 99call said:

 I love cigars, but I must confess I hate the part of the cigar world of Ponce's wanting to pose with cigars.  I think cigars unfortunately do attract a lot of dandy dickheads. They are generally done with the 'hobby' after 3 cigars and 1000 Instagram images.

There is a spot on south beach Miami where a guy will let you take your social media pics in either a Lambo or Ferrari for $20. There is a queue. 

He should start selling cigars 

 

[99call]

Just now, El Presidente said:

He should start selling cigars 

Yup. 

Last year I was slogging my guts out trying to get up Ben Nevis.  At a certain juncture we walked past a shivering girl in spandex, taking endless pictures of herself, making sexy faces/poses to camera.  I think we were about 10% of the climb up, and she was wearing flip flops.            My overriding thought was "who in godsname is the target audience of her insta?"  hillwalking is not known for its sex appeal. 

[Fireball]

I am not sure how to apply this knowledge. Lol

[JohnInCleveland]

12 hours ago, BrightonCorgi said:

How about chainsaw in hands, cigar in mouth?  Says practical and a multi-tasker.

Beats a cigar in hand and a chainsaw in mouth