P. J. O'Rourke RIP

[Ken Gargett]

very sad to read of the passing of  P. J. O'Rourke. younger members might not be as familiar but he was a huge voice of satire and rather sharp humour for many years with national lampoon and saturday night live and many books and articles of his own. was a fierce conservative voice for much of his life but driven to be less so in more recent years, and didn't really like either side by the end (for those concerned that this might have a political bent). wise man. although he is perhaps not for everyone.

a friend sent me some stuff from Holidays in Hell, years since i read it but it brought back many memories. i have put that below. but first, a few of my fave quotes here - 

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

 

The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.

 

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

 

and from Holidays in Hell...

 

Excerpts from P.J. O’Rourke’s "Holidays in Hell"

On different kinds of foreigners.

"And the Japs take snapshots of everything, not just everything famous but everything. Back in Tokyo there must be a billion color slides of street corners, turnpike off-ramps, pedestrian crosswalks, phone booths, fire hydrants, manhole covers and overhead electrical wires. What are the Japanese doing with these pictures? It’s probably a question we should have asked before Pearl Harbor.

Worse than the Japanese, at least worse looking, are the Germans, especially at pool-side. The larger the German body, the smaller the German bathing suit and the louder the German voice issuing German demands and German orders to everybody who doesn’t speak German….[But] this is nothing compared to the French on a tropical shore. A middle-aged, heterosexual, college-educated male wearing a Mickey Mouse t-shirt and a string-bikini bottom and carrying a purse — what else could it be but a vacationing Frenchman?

Also present in Angola, Eritrea, and God-Knows-Where are the new breed of yuppie “experience travelers.” You’ll be pinned down by mortar fire in the middle of a genocide atrocity in the Sudan, and right through it all comes six law partners and their wives, in Banana Republic bush jackets, taking an inflatable raft trip down the White Nile having an “experience.”

On third world travel in general

"Astonishing toilets for humans are also a staple of up-to-date foreign adventure. Anyone who thinks international culture has become bland and uniform hasn’t been to the bathroom, especially not in Yugoslavia where it’s a hole in the floor with a scary old lady with a mop standing next to it…

No present day traveler, even an extra-odoriferous Central European one, can say he’s done it all if he hasn’t been on a smell tour of Asia. Maybe what seems pungent to the locals only becomes alarming when sniffed through a giant Western proboscis, but there are some odors in China that make a visit to Bhopal seem like a picnic downwind from the Arpège factory. Hark to the cry of the tourist in the East: “Is it dead or is it dinner?”…

On American embassies…

Each American embassy comes with two permanent features — a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators spend half their time burning Old Glory and the other half waiting for green cards….

On South Africa….

Everywhere you go in the world somebody’s raping women, expelling the ethnic Chinese, enslaving stone-age tribesmen, shooting communists, rounding up Jews, kidnapping Americans, settling fire to Sikhs, keeping Catholics out of the country clubs and hunting peasants from helicopters w/ automatic weapons. The world is built on discrimination of the most horrible kind. The problem with South Africans is they admit it. They don’t say, like the French, “Algerians have a legal right to live in the sixteenth arrondissement, but they can’t afford to.” They don’t say, like the Israelis, “Arabs have a legal right to live in West Jerusalem, but they’re afraid to.” They don’t say, like the Americans, “Indians have a legal right to live in Ohio, but oops, we killed them all.” The South Africans just say, “F... you.” I believe it’s right there in their constitution: “Article IV: F... you. We’re bigots.” We hate them for this. And we’re going to hold indignant demonstrations…until the South Africans learn to stand up and lie like white men.

And not least:

"I was having dinner…in London…when eventually he got, as the Europeans always do, to the part about “Your country’s never been invaded.” And so I said, “Let me tell you who those bad guys are. They’re us. WE BE BAD. We’re the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We’re three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock market crash on our mother’s side. You take your Germany, France, and Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn’t give us room to park our cars. We’re the big boys, Jack, the original, giant, economy-sized, new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in Cap d’Antibes. And we’ve got an American Express card credit limit higher than your pissant metric numbers go. You say our country’s never been invaded? You’re right, little buddy. Because I’d like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who’d have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying ‘Cheerio.’ Hell can’t hold our sock-hops. We walk taller, talk louder, spit further, f... longer and buy more things than you know the names of. I’d rather be a junkie in a New York City jail than king, queen, and jack of all Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and shit them out before lunch.”

Of course, this guy should have punched me. But this was EUrope. He just smiled his shabby, superior European smile. (God, don’t these people have dentists?)"

[Cigar-Therapy]

34 minutes ago, Ken Gargett said:

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

This is a gem. Thank you for sharing.

[luv2fly]

Very sad to hear.  I have always been a P.J. fan.  Basically defined my college years.  

Fair winds and following seas.

[rcarlson]

One of the greats.  

[cigcars]

       *OH NOOOOO!!!!  I didn't know P.J. O'Rourke had passed away. He was a basket case but in the nicest, best way. May he rest in peace   

[Huckleberry]

I rather enjoy his perspective   

May he RIP!

[bishop532]

16 hours ago, Cigar-Therapy said:

This is a gem. Thank you for sharing.

Amen! 

[Meesterjojo]

Oh no wow. That's huge. I'm a huge fan of his books and nat lamp. The only thing i ever collected. 

 

 

[Cigar-Therapy]

Thanks to this post I’ve started catching up on what I’ve been missing.  Gems abound!

Martin Hemming posted some of his “I’d rather not” responses and Im laughing at everyone. 

[joeypots]

He will be missed.