Email of the week: Moochers.

[captaincaveman]

This Friday, just show up with one cigar for yourself.

[La_Tigre]

How much do you enjoy being married?

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Option:

”One of the sites I frequent has started an online auction. They have aged Cohibas and more current production. Check out how beautiful this box of Siglo V 2018 is?!? We should split a box because the singles are much more expensive alone. Since I have plenty of storage, I could take half and leave the other half in the box at your place. They’d already be there for our visits, you cheap f#%king bastard…!”

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Last sentence optional of course depending the answer to the top question. 

[RichG]

Strange…everyone’s sentiment was to confront the BIL…first solution that came to my mind was divorce!

Tomato ⚖️ Tomaato

[Ford2112]

😆  the best day of my first and only marriage was the finalizing of the divorce papers! 

[traveller]

Why didn't the OP smoke a Monte 1 as well? Did he buy those with the intention of giving to the BIL?

[El Presidente]

30 minutes ago, traveller said:

Why didn't the OP smoke a Monte 1 as well? Did he buy those with the intention of giving to the BIL?

pretty much. 

[cigaraholic]

Buy him a DVD of Crimson Tide for Christmas  

[rcarlson]

Offer box split.  Says it all.      

[Vortigan]

First off, 5 years? Years?? Seriously??! That's quite the corner he's painted himself into! For me, if I felt that I really couldn't bring myself to smoke anything other than top shelf on these occasions, I think I'd go down the route of laying it on thick in opining about recent rising costs and scarcity etc...

That being said,

19 hours ago, RDB said:

...the moocher certainly is ‘officially a smoker’. Smokes every week.

 

Yes, yes he is! And if he's sufficiently well versed as to be making a preferential distinction for a Siglo V over a Monte #1 then he needs to start pulling his big boy pants up, so to speak.

Sh*t or get off the pot mate, it's time! 

[dominattorney]

22 hours ago, Arctic Dude said:

He should be more than happy to smoke whatever he is given; the offering of any cigar is still most generous.  If he doesn't like what he is offered, he doesn't have to smoke it.  Keep smoking what you want, and offer him whatever you feel is reasonable.  No reason you both have to smoke the same thing.  It doesn't sound like he is drinking what you are, so why does he have to smoke what you are!   

I agree. But read the original post. He did not say anything other than that he prefers the Cohiba to the monte 1. Seems like the OP reads into that a bit more than may have been intended.  I have a few friends who smoke cigars, burbhave no clue what some of them cost. They just aren't interested enough to figure it out. Most of these guys are NC smokers and buy off ofbthe big. Ox online retailers. They get sticks for crazy cheap and they smoke em once in a while. If he thinks your Sig V is a 2.50 stick, it's small wonder he never asked to kick in for it. Do you think he appreciates that he's lighting up more than 50 dollars each time you guys smoke together? That's the real question. Because if yes, and you also don't show up every week in a Ferrarri, he's mooching. If not, he'll be perhaps more embarrassed than you could imagine when he finds out the cost. 

[Mr. Japan]

Speak out and clearly to him with no anger. And suggest to buy cigarstogether to sum ke on week ends.
 

[...]

In life, it's possible to be responsible for your own trouble 😂

As many have pointed out already, five years represents many opportunities to correct the aim, I assume the OP had reasons not to verbalize his feelings during all that time. Hard not to suggest to be more transparent with others (as many have suggested). I have been told I'm quite generous with friends and family (sometimes with strangers) but I refrain from gifting unless it makes me happy. Assuming the OP was happy to gift and has now had a reversal of feelings, best way to deal with it would depend on so many factors that it'd be impossible to know. In the absence of objective best, my way of doing it would be to call the person and discuss the matter so it can be resolved. No need to strategize that bad in life, honest (and polite) conversations work.

In the event that discussing the matter made you realize the guy is a cheap bastard, then at least you know and can act accordingly.

Best of luck!

[Cairo]

9 hours ago, dominattorney said:

I have a few friends who smoke cigars, but have no clue what some of them cost. They just aren't interested enough to figure it out. Most of these guys are NC smokers

Those are my friends.   It makes it easy.     The only Cubans they ever see from me are Vegueros Tapados which I offer as I take one for myself out of the cardboard package.

I always plead poverty--my (well to do, btw 🙂 ) parents lectured me ad nauseum on that topic as I was growing up.....

The Tapados are good enough that they will smoke them, but not good enough to make them want to abandon NCs and chase Cubans.

[Fezztone]

Always 2 sides to a story- Maybe the BIL always serves a nice dinner of  steak  & lobster with expensive wine and at the the cigar guy's house they just have  some microwave dinners and box wine. Or, cigar guy is a pain in the a@#  and the BIL wonders how many of his expensive smokes does he need to suffer through until the dinner is just a twice a year event. Either way, talk to the BIL.

[Wailbait]

I enjoy this question a lot.  There might be some friends that I would share any cigar with regardless of cost.  With them, I likely feel a two-way street of generosity such that even if they weren’t giving me cigars, maybe I felt that they shared in other ways.  And it all feels mutual.  
 

But other friends I might not be “as generous.” Sure I’ll share but maybe I don’t dive into the good stuff.  This likely stems from a feeling that I’m doing most of the sharing in the relationship.  
 

I understand the predicament of the OP.  If it were once or twice, that’s a slight leaning of the seesaw.  But right now he feels like Andre the Giant across from Herve Villechaize.  That’s a tough predicament.  An open kimono chat about cigar costs might bring things into focus.  

[RedLantern]

Definitely the 5 year ritual makes it awkward. It seems like it’s just the comment that he preferred the V to the Monte 1 that has your dander up? Maybe best to interpret that comment general cigar talk rather than “I wish you had given me a more expensive cigar.”

 

I agree with the above that the only reasonable thing to do now is to tell him Cohibas have gotten too expensive for every week. Personally I would just start bringing cheaper cigars. If he hasn’t offered in 5 years to put some money towards the habit, it’s clearly not something he really wants to do, so I wouldn’t even bring up splitting. Let him bring that up if it is important to him.

[Ford2112]

Bring a couple complete dog rockets next time and see how that plays out.

[PigFish]

..." did your wife tell you I went to the doctor this week? Yeah, so he tells me I have to cut down on cigars. By half he says... So I am only bringing one cigar to these dinners now..."

"Where's that tasty lobster roe dip you had a couple weeks ago???"

[...]

I was pondering the situation again and was thinking about potential for misunderstanding...

How funny would this all be if the brother-in-law admitted he really didn't care for cigars but was partaking out of respect/kindness and to try and share quality time with the OP?

You never know till you have the discussion 😄

[cigcars]

     *Well, since he's a moocher and depends on you to leech off of, you can always give him  a counterfeit CC to  hold him.  He probably won't know the difference anyway and you can save yourself the cost and the insult.