what would you do in this situation?

[Smokecigareveryday]

I was invited to a dinner party 3 years ago at an associate's home.  I saw that he had a  little 50 count wooden cigar humidor with a few non Cubans (mostly NC RJs and perdomo's champagne conn) near his kitchen.  I wanted to upgrade his humidor so I gave him a few Padron annies, 3  Fuente opus x, a few Bolivar RC cubans, and Mote PEs the next day.  Now 3 years later I had the opportunity to see him again at his house last weekend. To my surprise, he hasn't smoked any of the cigars I gave him; I think they had moles due to over humidified (white spots on the wrapper).   I was disappointed and mad at the same time even though I didn't show it. I asked him why he hasn't smoked any. His answer was that he was too busy.  What would you have done in this situation?  Would you have taken the cigars back and smoked them yourself? 

[teamrandr]

Asking for a gift back is usually in poor taste.  Chalk it up as a lesson.  Don't go willy nilly handing good cigars out to anyone.  

[planetary]

Hmm.  I might not even have brought up the topic of cigars, unless I was sure it wouldn't cause the friend feel guilty or awkward. And if the topic did come up, I'd steer it toward the condition of the humidor, to see if they are open to advice.

Agree with @teamrandr that asking for the gift back is out of the question.

[scap99]

Once ownership changed hands, they are no longer yours.  He can feed them to the garbage disposal if he's so inclined, so do as mentioned above...lesson learned and move on.

[Smokecigareveryday]

He told me he was interested in Cubans and cigars in general.  Perhaps he had the humidor as a decoration. 

[jazzboypro]

You wanted to ''Upgrade'' his humidor and took upon yourself to give him some cigars that YOU feel are good cigars. Unless he asked you to do so i would not be surprised by the fact that he did not smoke them. Just forget about it and move on.

[Smokecigareveryday]

2 minutes ago, jazzboypro said:

You wanted to ''Upgrade'' his humidor and took upon yourself to give him some cigars that YOU feel are good cigars. Unless he asked you to do so i would not be surprised by the fact that he did not smoke them. Just forget about it and move on.

I would not have given him those cigars if he had told me not to. He wanted to try Cubans and high end cigars as we were talking after the dinner.  Of course I will move on. I was just a bit off guard to see the cigars with molds and with neglect after 3 years.   He did also brag about how good the cigars were when he saw me time to time until last weekend.  I am not trying to come off as an asshole but to say that I didn't feel anything is a lie.  Of course I didn't confront him or anything.  I kept my cool and moved on. 

[LLC]

Once ownership changed hands, they are no longer yours.  He can feed them to the garbage disposal if he's so inclined, so do as mentioned above...lesson learned and move on.

Well said.


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[...]

People lie. I don't take it personal. Feel free to emulate

[ender.lmm]

I would not have given him those cigars if he had told me not to. He wanted to try Cubans and high end cigars as we were talking after the dinner.  Of course I will move on. I was just a bit off guard to see the cigars with molds and with neglect after 3 years.   He did also brag about how good the cigars were when he saw me time to time until last weekend.  I am not trying to come off as an asshole but to say that I didn't feel anything is a lie.  Of course I didn't confront him or anything.  I kept my cool and moved on. 

Maybe invite him to smoke together before gifting something you feel it was (eventually) out of his league?

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[jazzboypro]

1 hour ago, Smokecigareveryday said:

I would not have given him those cigars if he had told me not to. He wanted to try Cubans and high end cigars as we were talking after the dinner.  Of course I will move on. I was just a bit off guard to see the cigars with molds and with neglect after 3 years.   He did also brag about how good the cigars were when he saw me time to time until last weekend.  I am not trying to come off as an asshole but to say that I didn't feel anything is a lie.  Of course I didn't confront him or anything.  I kept my cool and moved on. 

Sorry, i did not see anywhere in the original post that he asked you to provide him with a selection of cigars

[99call]

2 hours ago, Smokecigareveryday said:

He told me he was interested in Cubans and cigars in general.  Perhaps he had the humidor as a decoration. 

Sometimes people who aren't that well plugged into what they like, and how they should spend their money.......just mimic others,   in a misguided belief that they should.      I know some people who go through phases,  whether it be hunting, or cycling or whatever,  they will buy themselves all the gear overnight (all the best stuff)  and just as quickly as it all arrives......they move on. 

Don't be angry with this guy,   pity him.     You get an immense amount of joy out of this passion of ours.........for him, it's just another failed hobby

[Smokecigareveryday]

2 minutes ago, jazzboypro said:

Sorry, i did not see anywhere in the original post that he asked you to provide him with a selection of cigars

I did not want to get into too much details.  I just felt bad for the cigars mostly.  That is why I asked whether it's best for me to smoke them instead.  Just innocent hope.

[jazzboypro]

Y

1 minute ago, Smokecigareveryday said:

I did not want to get into too much details.  I just felt bad for the cigars mostly.  That is why I asked whether it's best for me to smoke them instead.  Just innocent hope.

Your intentions were good, once you gave the cigars to him, there's nothing to do about it.

[El Presidente]

He could have handed them out to alien crack whores under the bridge and it shouldn't bother you.

The gift is in the giving. Job done.

[99call]

2 minutes ago, El Presidente said:

He could have handed them out to alien crack whores under the bridge

So thats what 'seconds' are

[Smokecigareveryday]

9 minutes ago, El Presidente said:

He could have handed them out to alien crack whores under the bridge and it shouldn't bother you.

The gift is in the giving. Job done.

Made me a better dude. 

[The Real McCoy]

A gift is when you release any and all, current or future, sentimental or emotional attachment for an object and give it to another person. Gifts don’t have conditions or stipulations. Those cigars could have been mulched and burned in a bonfire just for fun. They’re his cigars. 
 

Shame to waste an excellent cigar though! I just feel sorry for this friend of yours for missing out on such wonderful experiences. 

[LordAnubis]

Let it go let it gooooooooooo. It’s all good mate. Don’t let it discourage you from future generosity. 
 

On a side note, I’m often hesitant when I see a nice humidor. People who tend to appreciate cigars either have something big, or something cheap. I use a fancy desktop humidor as a preliminiary indicator of “all show and no substance”. Just my experience. Obviously can’t paint everyone with one brush and all that. 

[Smokecigareveryday]

27 minutes ago, The Real McCoy said:

A gift is when you release any and all, current or future, sentimental or emotional attachment for an object and give it to another person. Gifts don’t have conditions or stipulations. Those cigars could have been mulched and burned in a bonfire just for fun. They’re his cigars. 
 

Shame to waste an excellent cigar though! I just feel sorry for this friend of yours for missing out on such wonderful experiences. 

He is more of an acquaintance. I wasn't thinking honestly about the beauty of giving gifts  when I saw the cigars with molds. The instant reaction is not that pleasant but I didn't say anything to him out of respect.  It would have been better if he had burned the cigars in a bonfire than to brag to me about how great those cigars were over the years. ?

21 minutes ago, LordAnubis said:

Let it go let it gooooooooooo. It’s all good mate. Don’t let it discourage you from future generosity. 
 

On a side note, I’m often hesitant when I see a nice humidor. People who tend to appreciate cigars either have something big, or something cheap. I use a fancy desktop humidor as a preliminiary indicator of “all show and no substance”. Just my experience. Obviously can’t paint everyone with one brush and all that. 

I am letting it go already.   Long gone

[sho671]

47 minutes ago, 99call said:

So thats what 'seconds' are

Ya, the sloppy kind...

[cigcars]

     *I hope I don't offend you on your friends' account, but it looks like a classic case of casting "Pearls to swine" in your giving him prized smokes and his outlook is that, "Ahh, phooey" to what we all know are highly prized items....*

[MigsG]

3 hours ago, The Real McCoy said:

A gift is when you release any and all, current or future, sentimental or emotional attachment for an object and give it to another person. Gifts don’t have conditions or stipulations. Those cigars could have been mulched and burned in a bonfire just for fun. They’re his cigars. 
 

Shame to waste an excellent cigar though! I just feel sorry for this friend of yours for missing out on such wonderful experiences. 

I agree, what a shame, you gave him such great NCs that he’s missing out on.  You were very generous to an acquaintance who then pretended over the years that he had smoked your cigars. It’s his loss, not yours!

[Toast & Taste]

7 hours ago, El Presidente said:

He could have handed them out to alien crack whores under the bridge and it shouldn't bother you.

The gift is in the giving. Job done.

Location of bridge, please. 

 

Big Al 

[dshot]

I've had this situation before. Gifting cigars and still not interested. I just left it at that and that was the end of it.