WINNER ANNOUNCED!! Potential Fakes in Cuba : your stories

[BlackFriar]

3 hours ago, MD Puffer said:

Could be worse...

 

NOM NOM NOM!!

Ahhh “bush meat!”

[LLC]

Its a simple comparison for me...the overall quality and consistency of food in Havana is not on par with that of any major US city. If you feel otherwise than we have a difference of opinion...I'm not about to go into food supply or lack thereof...but when you see 5000 flies hovering over a piece of meat that is going to be sliced to put into a sandwich its a visual that isn't very common in the good ole U S of A...

I would agree that there are probably a higher percentage of bad restaurants but if you know or find out where to go, there are lots of excellent restaurants. I go to Havana often and have no problem eating excellent meals. The best part, when I’m done I can order an excellent espresso, some rum and enjoy a cigar right at my table.

I travel to lots of cities around the world and the same is true in all of them; if you know where to go your experience will be better.


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[Fuzz]

8 hours ago, mbflash80 said:

I would argue that if you walked through San Francisco (jumping over bums, human waste, and used needles mind you) and picked random restaurants you would have an experience that is exponentially more enjoyable than Havana...not even in the same universe. 

In my experience, I never had to jump over bums, human waste and used needles in Havana. However, on my trip to SF last November, I did have to do two of those three things. Havana is sounding better.

[SenorPerfecto]

8 hours ago, db13 said:

I'm from Los Angeles, we have some of the best cuisine in the world. I was in Havana in May and I had some very memorable meals thanks to reading FOH. Cheaper than places in L.A. and as good if not better. Espacios and lunch at Hector's farm. Do your research before your trip and you'll be fine. Just stay away from the pizzas with the condom toppings. ?

Also try a cuban sandwich by the pool at Hotel Nacional!

Well, also from LA here (aka the current restaurant center of the universe), and... there's no contest. You can eat fine meals in Havana. And some will be memorable for many reasons. But earth-shattering cuisine is not going to be one of them. Again, I've had dozens of good meals in Cuba. And also many very bad ones (the Cuban sandwich at the Nacional being one of them). But it's hard to travel almost anywhere in the world -- Paris, Rome, Tokyo -- and not feel a little let down by the restaurant scene, when you live and dine in LA on a regular basis.

I'm not knocking the Cubans. They do what they do with what they have. But compared to LA or SF or NYC? There is no "cuisine" in Cuba. There's food. It gets the job done and sometimes exceeds that. And again I don't expect molecular gastronomy here. I would say the better meals in Cuba rate about the same as an above average Diner in the US. And the not-better ones? You better hold onto your lunch, buddy

[mbflash80]

29 minutes ago, Fuzz said:

In my experience, I never had to jump over bums, human waste and used needles in Havana. However, on my trip to SF last November, I did have to do two of those three things. Havana is sounding better.

Yup...im speaking strictly food...SF has spiraled into oblivion in many other respects...no argument there from me.

[Monterey]

18 minutes ago, mbflash80 said:

Yup...im speaking strictly food...SF has spiraled into oblivion in many other respects...no argument there from me.

I go to Havana for the food (and cigars).  I wouldn't go to San Fran for any reason.  Especially for the food.

[mbflash80]

13 minutes ago, Monterey said:

I go to Havana for the food (and cigars).  I wouldn't go to San Fran for any reason.  Especially for the food.

And thats your loss...because its pretty badass when it comes to food...but hey...to each his own

[La_Tigre]

9 hours ago, mbflash80 said:

Its a simple comparison for me...the overall quality and consistency of food in Havana is not on par with that of any major US city. If you feel otherwise than we have a difference of opinion...I'm not about to go into food supply or lack thereof...but when you see 5000 flies hovering over a piece of meat that is going to be sliced to put into a sandwich its a visual that isn't very common in the good ole U S of A...

Open air kitchen at Club Habana comes to mind....is that marinade on the shrimp or grilled fly vomit?

[Nino]

7 hours ago, LLC said:

I would agree that there are probably a higher percentage of bad restaurants but if you know or find out where to go, there are lots of excellent restaurants. I go to Havana often and have no problem eating excellent meals. The best part, when I’m done I can order an excellent espresso, some rum and enjoy a cigar right at my table.
I travel to lots of cities around the world and the same is true in all of them; if you know where to go your experience will be better.
 

^^^^ This - I absolutely agree with you

6 hours ago, SenorPerfecto said:

Again, I've had dozens of good meals in Cuba. And also many very bad ones (the Cuban sandwich at the Nacional being one of them).

 

Yep 100% agree with that statement -

Can't for the life of me understand the praise that Hotel Sandwich gets when it's stale bread, chemical ham & cheese and totally overprized ....

So many better places for a good one - but maybe then you'd have to get out of the Hotel comfort zone and actually be in .... Cuba - que horror !!

[Ryan]

Fakes in Cuba. Where to begin?

1.

Somebody went to Cuba recently and had such a cool time they posted a video on Vimeo. Have a look from about 2:35 in to the video.

https://vimeo.com/64713827?fbclid=IwAR1Ob5eE1tNI8A01teEfX6JqzfJ3sc7c5Aredg4Xyea5x2n6qvkO0NxHoe0

That's the first time I've seen glass-top boxes in Havana.

2.

At a LCDH, the only time I've been (or ever will be) at this particular one. I won't mention the name but it's on the other side of the harbour.

February 2018, an opened box of Talismans on the counter with 8 cigars left in the box. "I'll take the lot", I says, "and the box too."

"Sorry, we can't give you the box." For those who don't know, if you ever hear that in a shop in Cuba don't buy the cigars if you want to be sure you are not buying fakes.

"OK, just one cigar then." It was fake, enough alarm bells on the cigar and band right away.

3.

Fake Santiago 11 year old rum in government shops last February. First time I had seen fake rum. No cardboard outer and the text on the label was slightly blurry. I tasted side by side with real Santiago 11 year old and big difference.

4.

Condoms on pizza. I remember seeing a video a few years ago of a guy in Cuba going through an old recipe book that had been issued during the Special Period. Issued to show citizens how to get by on reduced rations. A recipe on how to fry grapefruit skins to make them act like steak was mentioned. I can't remember seeing condom pizza in that video, though I have heard the story many times, so who knows. If it was ever done in Cuba, I don't think it is now.

Nevertheless, use discretion when asking for "extra mozzarella" in Cuba!

5.

A pile of boxes of Montecristo No. 2 Gran Reserva in the men's room of the Salon Rojo for $80 a box. These may not have been fakes, but I know the men's room attendant wasn't in a position to issue Facturas. ? I posted about this a few years ago.

https://www.friendsofhabanos.com/forum/topic/114208-havana-a-tale-of-two-monte-gran-reservas/?tab=comments#comment-380844

 6.

Countless offers in bars, hotels, restaurants, side-streets, outside factories etc.

From very good, a box of Cohiba Esplendidos in Habana Vieja with everything perfect, warranty seal, new bands (perfect) etc. Strangely, he wouldn't let me take a picture!

To silly: wax-paper wrapped bundles of Cohiba Robustos in a micro-brewery in Plaza Vieja.

To surreal: a chap literally sitting on a pile of horse manure (I presume minding it) on Calle O near the Nacional, offering me "cigars, Cohiba". I presume with "barnyard aroma" built in.

 

Then there's the issue of "exceptional charges". "Bribe" sounds so uncivilised!

For me, just once. And that was to buy a police report for a lost (stolen) phone, for insurance purposes. I've posted about that here before too. The phone was genuine, the report too. The charge wasn't, but it was reasonable. All parties were happy.

Maybe I've been lucky, but never at an airport, even when stopped, though I've been prepared.

I've never paid "extra" at any cigar shop for hard to find cigars or anything like that. Having said that, I will always have a box of chocolates for staff in some shops, who I regard as friends now. But that's never for cigars. As often as not, I'm not even buying cigars in those shops on that trip.

And I would say, regardless of wherever you are in the world, don't offer anyone in uniform a "bribe", unless you are completely familiar with the lay of the land.

If they ask, that's one thing. And, if you can, have a local do the negotiation for you.

Having said all that, there are times when I keep about $50 dollars worth of local currency in the picture page of my passport as an emergency fund when going through an airport. There might be an exit-charge, something in Duty-Free I want to buy, a charge for use of the lounge. And if that emergency fund goes missing, well that's just fortuitous carelessness. It has always come home with me so far though.

 

Food in Cuba. As Nino, Prez, and others have said, there is plenty of good food in Havana now to eat well in two different places everyday for two weeks.

Some of my favourite dishes in the world are in Cuba, the Ceviche in Santy's, the Marlin Tacos in La Guarida, the grilled eggplant in La Corte del Principe, and I'm not even a big fish fan. Do some research, plenty of info on this forum and you'll be fine.

Some rules of thumb. If there are tourist buses outside, unless it's El Aljibe, don't bother with it. Grey "meat" in brown "gravy" on soggy "pasta" or "rice" will be their most popular dish.

If you walk past a restaurant and the tables look perfect, perfect tablecloths, lots of spotless glasses and tableware perfectly set up and the waiters standing around waiting for something, keep walking. It will be the worst food-to-price experience you'll ever have. And probably simply one of the worst food experiences.

The burger in the Parque Central is usually decent if you're in the mood but always ask for "well-done". Always. Especially in my company, as I'm the one who'll end up with your "medium" or rare one and you will not want to swap. Then we'll never talk again.

If you meet a Cuban person on the street and they recommend a restaurant, don't take them up on it, you won't end up happy. Sometimes I'll have a chat with them, but only if I'm looking for something specific (bar etc.). The simplest, quickest way to end that conversation is telling them you already have a reservation somewhere else. 

The ham and cheese in the Nacional. I know it's not "haute-cuisine" (Nino!) but I still find myself coming back to it. It's Havana's comfort-food. Cheap(ish), quick and easy. I've had great 3-hour meals in Havana and I love them, but I can't do two of them a day, every day.

But every place will have its food that some people love and others just don't "get". For me, it's lamb in Cuba. I just don't get the love. I've had it, once, that's all I need. I have good lamb in Ireland, maybe that has ruined me.

There was a thread here before about duck in Cuba and the scarcity of living examples. I would say the same about lamb. I've seen a few goats but never anything that would even pass as a lamb's parent.

Last thing, constipation in Cuba can be a thing. Maybe it's the rum I don't know. If you forget your medication, try the burger in Bar Monserrate (and I love the place). If you really need to get it sorted out quickly, order the shrimp. 

[argrovesjd]

We had some decent to good meals for sure...el Aljibe was good chicken...starbien was decent enough...and actually had a really tasty pork dish near the port but the restaurant name escapes me...
I think I was traumatized by some nasty shrimp (no need to de-vein at this place)  and chicken (could have not been chicken if you know what I mean) at the restaurant next to the LCDH at 5th and 16th...one of the worst meals in my life...maybe the absolute worst...that combined with not having the type of breakfast I am accustomed to and the absence of easily accessible decent food led me to be miserable...but the cigars and beers made up for it for the most part.

My two cents. And I’m telling you this from my limited (9 trips now, comprised of about 50 nights total) time in Havana. Seafood dishes have been either very good or horrible. There has been no in between. And I’ve eaten at fifteen or twenty places that all had good reputations for their seafood. So I now tend to stay with what Cubans do really good...pork & chicken, with a little beef mixed in here and there. And you know what...I have been really pleased with each and every meal since I’ve started this “practice” last year. I think that the skill is there. But the quality of ingredients is the problem.

Now...back to the original topic. Fakes. I have seen scattered fakes in more than a few LCDH’s, but the Libre is the most shady, IMHO. Buyer beware.


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[Nino]

4 hours ago, Ryan said:

The ham and cheese in the Nacional. I know it's not "haute-cuisine" (Nino!) but I still find myself coming back to it. It's Havana's comfort-food. Cheap(ish), quick and easy. I've had great 3-hour meals in Havana and I love them, but I can't do two of them a day, every day.

Last thing, constipation in Cuba can be a thing. Maybe it's the rum I don't know. If you forget your medication, try the burger in Bar Monserrate (and I love the place). If you really need to get it sorted out quickly, order the shrimp. 

Great Post @Ryan !!

Now, the Nacional Sandwich is not about Haute Cuisine but about quality - you should try the one at Espacios ( Raul introduced it after much begging from me and even included my extra topping : fried egg ) but it only comes in a big size for 4 people. But at 10 CUC very affordable !

My recipe for a quick step to the loo is strong Cuban coffee and a morning cigar before breakfast ... ?

 

[Puros Y Vino]

@Ryan  Great post!  I'm a big fan of the HNC Cubano.  It's been a great addition to late night smoking binges on the deck there.  I find it's perfect to split between 2-3 people.  

As for constipation.   My last day of my last trip was absolutely ruined by it.  Our plan was to devour some clay pot chicken at El Ajibe. I couldnt' even stomach a pre meal cigar inside the shop there. I just sat in there chatting with Lette and some other guests.  My previous meal was at La Terraza.  The mixed grill.   That probably did me in.  All that meat and fish with little to no vegetables.  

[Fugu]

The topic takes some interesting twists and turns 

[Colt45]

29 minutes ago, Fugu said:

The topic takes some interesting twists and turns

like an intestine

[mbflash80]

54 minutes ago, mtapia3 said:

I think it's unfair to compare the quality of food between two very different countries with very different economies. If you go to Cuba expecting world class food, you will be disappointed 9 out 10 times. With a bit of research, you will avoid disappointment. I've had some very memorable meals while in Cuba, but what made them more memorable than the actual quality was the ambiance, good company, and the appreciation that I was eating a meal that was completely out of reach for the majority of people living on the island, regardless of how good, bad or ugly it was. 

Why is it unfair? They should get sympathy points for not having the food supply? How does that make my base argument any less relevant or valid? If anything it supports my position...and as I stated before I had some decent meals...im not saying its a travesty beyond comprehension...im saying its not in the same class as a major US city. 

[BeerPimp]

53 minutes ago, mtapia3 said:

I think it's unfair to compare the quality of food between two very different countries with very different economies. If you go to Cuba expecting world class food, you will be disappointed 9 out 10 times. With a bit of research, you will avoid disappointment. I've had some very memorable meals while in Cuba, but what made them more memorable than the actual quality was the ambiance, good company, and the appreciation that I was eating a meal that was completely out of reach for the majority of people living on the island, regardless of how good, bad or ugly it was. 

After reading several of the replies about how they don't compare to restaurants in the United States.   I was thinking the same thing in the United States (as with may countries) we really are spoiled as far a the quality and range of food we have.   I just read an article about this old salt company in the united states that sells their salt which is a very flaky salt as a finishing salt for $20/lb.  I am going to go out a limb and say that if you go into your average grocery store in Cuba there is just probably one type of salt maybe two.  I think if any chef in Cuba walked into your average grocery store in the United States and just walked into the produce department they wouldn't know what to do with themselves.

[La_Tigre]

1 hour ago, BeerPimp said:

After reading several of the replies about how they don't compare to restaurants in the United States.   I was thinking the same thing in the United States (as with may countries) we really are spoiled as far a the quality and range of food we have.   I just read an article about this old salt company in the united states that sells their salt which is a very flaky salt as a finishing salt for $20/lb.  I am going to go out a limb and say that if you go into your average grocery store in Cuba there is just probably one type of salt maybe two.  I think if any chef in Cuba walked into your average grocery store in the United States and just walked into the produce department they wouldn't know what to do with themselves.

How many types of salt again??

I’d say be happy if you find one.

Yes, those are all the same pickled garbanzo beans. Yes, they are on three solid shelves and end caps. Yes, they are also on the other shelves on the other sides. Yes, that makes 1/4 of the ENTIRE supermarket pickled garbanzo beans. No shortage of those. 

 

When there, I attempt to eat with our hosts. If it’s good for them it’s good for me. ?

6 hours ago, Fugu said:

The topic takes some interesting twists and turns 

What was the OT again? I forget. ?

[GinFizzLove]

7 hours ago, Colt45 said:

like an intestine

Like a cheese condom moving throughout the intestines. ?

[BeerPimp]

Let's get back on track in this thread.   I like hearing stories about the purchase of possible fakes.

[Bohn007]

On 9/12/2019 at 10:57 PM, bpm32 said:

Some of the sticklers for the rules actually do confiscate the marble ashtrays, so the option for bribery is actually a feature, not a defect.

I lost 4 ashtrays that were in my carry on in terminal 2 a couple years ago. I would have happily paid 10 cuc to keep them. 

[Edward7]

My first and only trip to Havana was last May and I went in having researched a ton about Cuban cigars because prior to that trip, I had about 3 proper Cubans - but probably 350 since that trip. I was walking around Old Havana and a random guy says hi like it was SO good to see me. I was puzzled but being a fairly friendly guy on holiday, I said hi back and didn't question that perhaps we did meet him at the hotel he said he met me at the day prior. He then goes on to explain how the cigar festival just happened and that his family member rolls at a factory blah blah blah. I didn't know that the Habanos festival happens earlier in the year at the time and about 10% of me wanted to believe that he was honest. He led us down a series of alleyways, meanwhile, my fiancé just was getting a bit sketched out while I kept saying it's fine. While he was going to attempt ripping us off, it's highly unlikely that he was going to try and rob us.

He leads us into a run down apartment and I am now 98% skeptical that he's gunna sell me roach carcasses in a maduro leaf wrapper. In the apartment, there is an elderly woman, a young girl watching TV and a guy his age, about late 20's brandishing a couple boxes of Cohibas and Partagas cigars and showing me the 25 wrapped in the familiar yellow silk bands. One look at the 9 white squares on the Fohiba bands not matching up and looking generally sloppy as hell, I politely declined. They both got extremely upset that I was suddenly uninterested. They lead us downstairs and I put out my hand to say thank you and nice to meet you and he sneers at me and spits at the ground and doesn't shake my hand.

No joke, 2 blocks later, another random guy tries the EXACT SAME heyyyyyy buddy I met you at the hotel...can I sell you some shit dog rockets routine. I just said no thanks man, got lots.

 

 

[El Presidente]

15 hours ago, Edward7 said:

My first and only trip to Havana was last May and I went in having researched a ton about Cuban cigars because prior to that trip, I had about 3 proper Cubans - but probably 350 since that trip. I was walking around Old Havana and a random guy says hi like it was SO good to see me. I was puzzled but being a fairly friendly guy on holiday, I said hi back and didn't question that perhaps we did meet him at the hotel he said he met me at the day prior. He then goes on to explain how the cigar festival just happened and that his family member rolls at a factory blah blah blah. I didn't know that the Habanos festival happens earlier in the year at the time and about 10% of me wanted to believe that he was honest. He led us down a series of alleyways, meanwhile, my fiancé just was getting a bit sketched out while I kept saying it's fine. While he was going to attempt ripping us off, it's highly unlikely that he was going to try and rob us.

He leads us into a run down apartment and I am now 98% skeptical that he's gunna sell me roach carcasses in a maduro leaf wrapper. In the apartment, there is an elderly woman, a young girl watching TV and a guy his age, about late 20's brandishing a couple boxes of Cohibas and Partagas cigars and showing me the 25 wrapped in the familiar yellow silk bands. One look at the 9 white squares on the Fohiba bands not matching up and looking generally sloppy as hell, I politely declined. They both got extremely upset that I was suddenly uninterested. They lead us downstairs and I put out my hand to say thank you and nice to meet you and he sneers at me and spits at the ground and doesn't shake my hand.

No joke, 2 blocks later, another random guy tries the EXACT SAME heyyyyyy buddy I met you at the hotel...can I sell you some shit dog rockets routine. I just said no thanks man, got lots.

 

 

they use the line readily because it works so well 

I remember a gorgeous girl walked up the steps of a hotel as we were walking out and she approached the oldest of our group (ken wasn't there), with a yelp and a hug "so great to see you again!!!". 

It was his first trip to havana. 

Needless to say she came to dinner with the 5 of us. Halfway through dinner she announced she was $100 USD short for of her mothers $5000 Kidney operation.  I don't need to go into the detail of what she was prepared to do for the $100. 

I am still chuckling now when **** pulled us aside and said " Let's just give her the money and make sure her mum is OK". 

I have some great hearted mates.....stupid.....but huge hearts 

and no. she didn't get any money. 

[Ryan]

On 9/21/2019 at 5:52 PM, nino said:

Great Post @Ryan !!

Now, the Nacional Sandwich is not about Haute Cuisine but about quality - you should try the one at Espacios ( Raul introduced it after much begging from me and even included my extra topping : fried egg ) but it only comes in a big size for 4 people. But at 10 CUC very affordable !

My recipe for a quick step to the loo is strong Cuban coffee and a morning cigar before breakfast ... ?

 

If you have the time, I'd be very happy to share one with you at Espacios in November Nino!

[Nino]

6 hours ago, Ryan said:

If you have the time, I'd be very happy to share one with you at Espacios in November Nino!

All I have is time @Ryan .... would be a pleasure. Call me.