Mother in Law battles!

[perkinke]

Damn! I am fortunate that while my future MIL has some issues, my girlfriend recognizes them and makes no excuses for her. My girlfriend is fortunate because my mother had a nightmare of a MIL and works hard to have a good relationship and to not butt in.

However, in college the mother of the girl I was engaged to would have been awful. She often referred to me as her daughter's "toy soldier" (I was in ROTC), just randomly showed up at MY apartment if she thought her daughter might be there. if her daughter wasn't there would sit and lecture me on my failings as a boyfriend and a man. And once flew out to where we were staying the east coast, pushed through the door and said "be a dear and get yourself another room." One of the few times I seriously considered punching a woman. Fortunately my fiancée shoved her out the door and screamed at her for a solid 30 minutes. Then slammed the door in her face.

[Fosgate]

I got along with mine however a close friend had a real note worthy monster in law.

Wedding day rehearsal comment; She approaches the grooms fathers new wife. "It's good that you chose not to sit with the family up front because you wrecked your husbands relationship with the mother of his son." Kid you not, she said it. The morning of the wedding we had to talk the grooms father (who was like super nice guy) into turning the car around because he was not going to condone a wedding to that F'ing C'nts family. That caused an hour delay.

Wedding Reception: Three of us including the groom hear the monster in law say "I did not send my daughter to XXX private school so she could marry a cop." (Her own brother is a trooper) So what do we do in retaliation. They are paying the bar tab and it's all bottled stuff. We clear the bar out shoving six packs of enough product to fill a beer truck, under the tables.

Future: Few years pass and you can see the tension in the air every time they came to visit. Buddy was suddenly around more and you could tell they were in town by the way he acted. He clearly did not want to be around her. Whenever she calls the house she addresses him by his full name and asks "Is my daughter, Carrie "Maiden Name" there?" Send written letters to the house addressing his wife by maiden name etc. One time he made her cry when she was insulting him on their way home from the mall and the father in law never said a word. Basically he said as any firm police officer would say as he turned to her sitting in the back seat and told her to STFU. One of the few times his wife would back him up. His wife also was unable to establish bounds and defend her husband at any time. After that Christmas she was not welcome in the house and they stayed in a hotel after that and Christmas was celebrated at the hotel and my buddy did not go.

Divorce: So, I'm sitting with my buddy the first week of December when he says. I think when I go home I'm going to sit down and tell my wife to choose them or me. Needless to say the next day he was happy as she chose her parents and they were taking care of the divorce amicably. Two weeks and everything was done and he agreed to let her stay in the house for a few months until she found a place. One Christmas left. He talked his wife into giving a gift to his former Monster in Law without truly knowing what it was. When she opened the present the room gasped. In it was a note, a camo pair of flip flop sandals and a huge black dildo. The note read "Gale, thank you for 10 years of torture. In my appreciation I bought you this pair of flip flops. If you don't like the flip flops I included a utility you can go F_CK YOURSELF! Merry Christmas, Your former Cop Son in Law." I think one way or another she got what she wanted and it was the best Christmas gift ever.

[Habana Mike]

Can't say many issues here.

Mine treats me as one of her own. Helps I've treated her daughter like the princess they both believe she is.

[SCgarman]

So,how many of you have been forced by your wife to live with her mother? I have! 6 years ago the wife's father died. She moved her mother in with us and our daughter. I did not so much as have a say in her decision. Needless to say this decision has caused numerous conflicts in our marriage over the years. My MIL has a sister in Alabama. She has gone to visit her sister for a few weeks at a time over thee the last 2 years. She knows I really don't want her living with us as my vibe has grown worse towards her over the years and we really do not talk but merely live under the same roof as room mates. After Christmas next month she is finally leaving to live with her sister in Alabama hopefully on a permanent basis. In my frame of thinking parents should not move in with their children. Especially without the husbands approval. For myself this has been a living hell. I am hoping it is finally over and my wife, daughter and I can once live as a family again.

[MIKA27]

So,how many of you have been forced by your wife to live with her mother? I have! 6 years ago the wife's father died. She moved her mother in with us and our daughter. I did not so much as have a say in her decision. Needless to say this decision has caused numerous conflicts in our marriage over the years. My MIL has a sister in Alabama. She has gone to visit her sister for a few weeks at a time over thee the last 2 years. She knows I really don't want her living with us as my vibe has grown worse towards her over the years and we really do not talk but merely live under the same roof as room mates. After Christmas next month she is finally leaving to live with her sister in Alabama hopefully on a permanent basis. In my frame of thinking parents should not move in with their children. Especially without the husbands approval. For myself this has been a living hell. I am hoping it is finally over and my wife, daughter and I can once live as a family again.

Not so much an issue if BOTH people in the marriage agree, but it certainly isn't great when you don't have a say. That's the way I thought my MIL was heading, always making comment(s) on the side about being lonely, despite living 5 minutes away! Yet my family (Sister, mother, brother) live an hour or so from me... go figure.

On a positive note: "Congrats"

[topdiesel]

I love my MIL and FIL. My wife and I live in California. MIL lives in Myrtle Beach and FIL in Annapolis Md. A couple thousand miles really makes the heart grow fond.

I would not put up any funny business with the in-laws. I am pretty direct in a respectful way. If it got beyond respectful, I would continue to be very direct and my wife would likely support my perspective. My wife equally has my support when dealing with my crazy parents.

[perkinke]

Wasn't it George burns who said "happiness is a large family...in another city."

[WarriorPrincess]

After reading these stories I hope to god that I am a decent MIL when my son gets married.

if she enjoys a wine there shouldn't be a problem

He has hinted here and there that he isn't moving out of home when the time comes to get married and my reaction was WTF !!!!!

Two women in the same house, that aren't related, is not a good thing especially if it is my home

I could go into stories of my MIL's, and yes I have had two, but it would take to long

[GasGuy82]

I think I'm quite lucky in that my partner is not on their side. Her mum and parade of men were abusive, everything apart from sexual, to her growing up and the while the physical side of it has stopped the emotional continues. So I guess it's not that my partner is oblivious to the problems caused by the bride of Dracula, its more how to deal with it until Van Helsing finally succeeds.

So far things that have not worked:

Wooden stakes

Holy water

Sunlight

Garlic

Silver crosses

The lords prayer

Try the Mossberg home defense "system".

[MrGTO]

My wife's parents are staying with me at the present. I am sad to read these stories about how bad people can be. I feel truly blessed that I have a great relationship with my wife's parents. My wife has 4 sisters and I get along famously with them as well.

I have a friend that has a MIL that is bat sh!t crazy and even once opened up a credit card in her daughters name. They found this out when they went to get her a car and her credit was destroyed. My buddy went and chewed her out for about an hour and made her cancel the card as he sat there. I can tell it puts a strain of them sometimes but fortunately his wife knows her mother is not right and she always backs my buddy when the SHTF.

It's amazing to me how these people don't end up in a shallow grave some where because of the way they act.

[Tino]

My brother's mother in law gave him a home carbon monoxide detector for Christmas a few years back. It was past its use by date...

[jwr0201]

I feel for you, brother. My Mil from hades nearly casued a divorce early in my marriage. Threw us out of a condo she 'gave' us for a wedding present. By the way, my wife was pregnant at the time. In my experience as a kid, I learned nothing in life was ever free, so I had squirreled away funds for an emergency. When the she-devil evicted us, I bought a house. The witch apparently used that ploy on her kids all their lives, only to get their submission. Backfired big time, as she was stuck with that dump for several years with no rent and had to make payments. I also barred her from visiting my home until she appologized properly. Things never did improve with that evil woman. My wife and I celebrated our 31 wedding anniversary recently.

My advice is to stand your ground and lay down some rules. If not, it will only get worse. IMHO, females posess a self-preservation instinct we dumb-azz males don't seem to have. You need to deftly direct that into what is best for both of you. An example is when were going to move 140 miles to our most desired place in Florida. At the last minute, my wife refused to move. I had accepted a job!

10 years later, We talked about moving , so I accepted a nice job just moved. Wife was stunned. Put house on market, family moved a year later. Everyone agrees it was the best move we could have made. Sometimes you just do what you have to do in the best interests of the family.