Letting My Mind Wander With A: Montecristo Number 4

[polarbear]

New review for the month, guys

Applogies for the change in font halfway through, not sure what happened there

As an avid cigar smoker there is a list of questions I am often asked by people who either have just started smoking cigars or wish to. These questions are usually the same, querying everything from storage recommendations to good suppliers that will ship to Aus and how to go about importing cigars privately. I never mind answering these questions because when I first started smoking cigars I never had anyone to ask, I just figured it out on my own. I ruined a fair few cigars and cost myself a lot of money in the process, but that’s the way you learn, I guess. When someone is looking to get into a hobby that has become my passion, I always like to give them some direction in the hopes of them avoiding the troubles I had almost 10 years ago. One of the more common questions I get asked is what brand to start with. This may seem like a stupid question, but when you consider that there are hundreds, if not thousands of different cigar brands out there from both inside and outside of Cuba, it can be a daunting decision. The first order you place will determine if you keep smoking cigars or if you decided the money and effort required is not worth the rewards. This makes the first real cigar you buy the most important decision of your cigar smoking life, for if you make a bad call and pick something too strong or not to your liking you will decide that cigar smoking is not for you and move onto other interests. I had many a friend say to me “Oh, I tried it once but decided it wasn’t for me”. After a few choice questions about the cigar they judged the whole industry on I usually select something from my humidors and offer them the chance to get another first impression of Cigars. 90% of the time, they change their tunes within 4 puffs.

So, you might be wondering what the cigar I suggest to people when they come to me for some direction on their first order. It has to be a fairly simple cigar, one that is easily available, Cuban (so the new cigar smoker can feel like a bit of a rebel and a baller at the same time) and, considering the insane tobacco taxes Australia has, reasonably cheap. I always point them to the Montecristo #4. That’s right folks. The humble Monte 4. This cigar is one of the most common cigars around the world, able to be purchased in Smoke Marts and 7/11’s around Australia. It’s a simple cigar, an everyman’s cigar, smoked by people on 21^st birthdays, births of children and Bucks nights around the world. Cuba makes around 5 million of these cigars a year and with an Aus RRP of around $18, they don’t break the bank but still tick all the right boxes for someone’s first cigar. Sure, many will say that due to the high volume of Monte 4’s produced by Cuba every year they are a little hit and miss. But even when they are at their worst they are still better than 75% of the non-Cubans out there and not even in the same league when compared to any other cigar you can purchase from a 7/11 for under $20 in Aus. Personally, I love Monte 4’s. I always have some in my humidors for any occasion from my morning smoke up to a friend wanting to celebrate some milestone in his or her life. The cigar I’ve selected today is from a box I’ve had for a while. I simply bought it one day because I found I was running low on Monte 4’s. I’ve taken this box to 2 bucks nights, one wedding and spent many a Saturday morning on my deck with a cup of Coffee and a Monte 4. They really are a one size fits all kind of cigar.

This Monte 4 has no special significance to me. I wanted to smoke a cigar, I reached for this one. It has a little over 2 years of age one it, but that’s not unusual as I like to wait around 12 months before cracking open a fresh box. The wrapper is rough and has a large vein in it. Not the prettiest Monte 4 I’ve ever seen. The roll is good and there is just the right amount of give when the cigar is squeezed. I cut the cap and take a draw. A little on the open side but giving me flavours of light leather and earth. I spark my lighter and toast the foot. As soon as heat is applied the cigars draw tightens a little making the draw more to my taste. I take my first steps into what will be this cigar and the draw gives me a bitter, green taste. Not a good start. I hope it will improve, regardless, it’s a beautiful Saturday morning, the sun is out and birds are chirping in the garden. I settle in to enjoy the view and allow my mind to wander.

Any crazy story from my late teens to early 20’s that I will ever tell you usually involved a Monte 4 in some way. Any time I rocked up to a party after the age of 18 I always had 2 things with me, a bottle of Bundaberg rum and a Monte 4. Both were cheap, could be bought from my local Liquor Land and were just what I wanted in a beverage and a cigar at the time. I would light my Monte 4, smoke it for a while and drink my rum. If the cigar went out I would simply chew on it for a spell and then relight it later in the night, starting the whole process over again. I didn’t know any better back then but it was one way to get a Monte 4 to last for 3 hours. One such gathering I remember fondly was the 19^th birthday party of 2 school mates of mine. Garry and Mark O’Brian. Twin brothers, non-identical but still pretty close. Garry was the older of the two (hence the top billing), being born 4 min before Mark. They were inseparable and all the trouble they seemed to find as kids, they found together. Now heading into their 20’s I wasn’t sure the world was ready for what madness they were capable of unleashing, provided they had a girl to impress and a bottle of Jack Daniels to share (and eventually fight over). I rolled into their joint birthday party with my usual kit, cheap cutter, cheap lighter, cheap cigar and cheap rum. I was ready for a big night. Their father (Garry O’Brian Snr) was an old Darwin guy. His collar was blue and his hands were rough. A builder by trade he was the embodiment of the type of man who (literally and figuratively) built Darwin from the ground up. His wife and mother of his boys had died when the boys were 2, leaving this hard man to raise them by himself. It became apparent just how much the Father had rubbed off on his Sons whenever they were together. His sons were becoming much like him, hard men, but with hearts of gold and heads of granite. It always made for an interesting night.

As I said in my opening paragraph, Monte 4’s can be a lottery. Sometimes they show you greatness, others, not so much. This one is looking to be the latter. The draw, burn and construction are good but the cigar has become soft and the first third gives me more of the bitter green flavours from the opening. It’s not awful, just not pleasant. The coffee I’m paring it with helps to cut through the bitter finish. Hopefully some improvement is on the horizon.

As the night progressed I sat, smoked, but also chewed on, my Monte 4 while listening to the Brothers O’Brian bounce off each other. They bickered like an old married couple; it was entertaining to say the least. They had both grown up in each other’s pockets but couldn’t agree on anything other than what beer to keep in the fridge. They were always playfully arguing about one thing or another. At this point in the night they were feuding over who was going to win the AFL Grand Final that year, often differing to me for my opinion in the hopes I would side with one of them and put the matter to bed for the night. I couldn’t have given less of a ****, so the argument continued. Around the point in the conversation when Gary was mentioning that the Dockers would win more games if they switched to Soccer instead of AFL, Tara arrived at the party. Tara was a girl we all knew and all had a crush on one way or another. She was pretty (actually really pretty) but not in drop dead gorgeous kind of way. She was “classically beautiful”, you’d put her in the same category as Sohpia Loren, Rita Hayworth or Audrey Hepburn. She was down to earth and carried herself with grace in every situation she involved herself in. She walked up to us and wished the boys a happy birthday, giving each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek before venturing off to find her group of girlfriends. Garry turned to Mark (who was still watching Tara walk away) and said “I reckon tonight’s the night I have a crack at Tara”. Mark snapped out of his gaze, turned and said “you can’t have a crack at Tara tonight! I was gonna have a crack at Tara tonight!” This started a new argument. Again, they deferred to me on occasion to try and break the dead lock. I was at a loss, it was both their birthdays and Tara had shown no more affections to one brother than the other. I couldn’t break it up so after a while Mark said to Gary “we’re gonna have to sort this out the old fashioned way, huh?” Gary looked pensive for a second and then said “yeah, I think we are”. They finished their drinks and made their way outside with me and my cigar following behind them.

Over halfway through and my Monte 4 is not rewarding me for my patience. The bitter green flavour from the first half now has an added ashy flavour to it. It’s really not all that good. I think about tossing it in favour of another cigar that could be all I hope it to be, but I decide against it. I often hear people say they toss cigars that don’t live up to the smokers expectations. I don’t like doing that. It’s disrespectful to the farmers, the rollers, the 100 pairs of hands that touch these leaves before it was placed in its box. I persist with the cigar in the hope that the greatness this cigar is capable of shows itself.

Now, I’ve know these two boys for most of their lives, so I knew what was coming next, I’d seen them settle a number of arguments in a similar fashion over the years, so I told a few people at the party to follow us if they were in the mood for a show. The brothers O’Brian had an unusual way of settling their more serious disagreements that was taught to them by their father at a reasonably young age. They stood face to face and had a game of Paper, Rock, Scissors to determine who would go first. They would then join left hands and take turns punching each other in the face until one fell over, lost his grip or opted out of the contest and thus losing the argument. This form of conflict resolution often meant that when it came time to actually take a hit one would decide that whatever they were arguing about was not worth getting punched in the face for and they could go back to whatever it was they were doing. Tonight, it seemed, was not one of those nights. Mark won the pre-fight game of Rock, Paper, Scissors with (ironically) a Rock over Gary’s Scissors. Gary took a deep breath and then nodded before copping a right hander to the jaw. Gary shook the hit off and returned fire, landing a right hander on Marks cheek bone. This went on for a few minutes while a crowd gathered to watch the “discussion” in silent horror. Tara walked out and stood beside me and said “what are those two idiots doing now?” I looked at her and said “fighting over you”. She was taken aback by my response so I answered the look on her face with “well, they both fancy you, but didn’t want to cut each other’s grass, so this is how they settle the things they really care about.” She shook her head “To be honest I’d always preferred Gary over Mark.” I said “well, you’d better let one of them know or there might not be much left of either to tell that too.” She rolled her eyes and walked up to the boys who were still going at it.

The home stretch. It’s not much better than what has come before it. Harsh, bitter and ashy. At one point I get a touch of coffee and cream, but only for the briefest of moments before it is overcome by the original flavours. A split second in this cigar where all that a Monte 4 can be fought its way through the harshness. I’m happy I waited for it. Sure, I could have tossed this cigar in the garden after the first third, choosing to replace it with a better example, but then what would be the point of that? The enjoyment of a cigar can be so much more than the flavour profile it gives you. I’ve sat here waiting for that moment of greatness that all cigars are capable of and this Monte 4 has given it to me, if only for a second.

I can’t remember how many punches each had copped by this stage but there was blood on the ground and each of the boys didn’t look like they were having much fun. It was Garry’s turn but before he could take his swing, Tara walked up to him and whispered something in his ear. Garry looked at her and then at Mark, who was wearing a look of confusion, weariness and a little blood. Garry took a deep breath and said “sorry bro” before head butting Mark square in the face, knocking him off his feet and therefor losing the argument. Tara propped Garry over her shoulder and carried him off somewhere for a little TLC. I scooped up Mark, who was still unsure of what had just happened, and carried him back to the party and a full bottle of Jacks to ease his pain. As I carried the dejected Mark back inside the house I passed Garry Senior leaning on the front door frame, obviously watching what had just transpired. Senior asked me “what was it this time? Girls or Booze?” as I carried his youngest Son to the couch. “Girls” I said with a grin. I’d seen the two of them go at it like this many times over the years, so I knew Mark was gonna be fine after a drink or two. Some of the girls at the party, who been impressed by this foolish show of machoisim, were also helping to heal his broken heart. Senior looked at his son and then at me and smiled cheekily “Boy will be Boys I guess.”

My cigar has been out for the last couple of minutes. I hadn’t noticed, but I've been absent mindedly chewing on it for a while. I take the soft nub out of my mouth and relight it, trying to get a little more time with it. I take a puff on the newly lit nub. It’s bloody awful. Harsh tar and loose tobacco. How the hell did I manage to do this when I was younger? I put the nub down and let it go out. The smoke coming off the foot is harsh and unpleasant. I move the nub downwind of me while it burns itself out. My mind wanders back to the brothers O’Brian. Gary and Tara dated for a couple of months before calling it quits and Mark was over getting blindsided by the end of the night. He wasn’t short of female company that night after all. It always amazed me how the girls would swoon over a couple of guys who were prepared to beat each other senseless over a girl. The follies of youth I guess. My Monte 4 has gone out, thankfully. I turf it into the garden bed to my right, the usual resting place for all my dead cigars. This was not the best example of a Monte 4 I’ve ever had, and a part of me thinks I should have waited until I had a better example for this review, but this is the thing with Monte 4’s, sometimes they are crap. When your new box arrives from your supplier, you have no idea if it will be amazing, or terrible. Regardless, any cigar is a nice way to start my day, but now the sun is out and I’ve got a busy Saturday ahead. Lawns need mowing, clothes need washing and floors need sweeping. Oh how times have changed.

[hounser]

A very nice write up and a great read, thanks!

I always have some Monte 4s in the humi.

[Croz71]

Great review. ....I'm loving my 2010 monte 4's

[Dimmers]

Great review and great story. Don't mind a good Monte 4 from time to time.

[nikonNUT]

I've got a box in-bound, I have heard that Monte's are quite the bi-polar cigar but if one can resurrect memories like that then good or bad it will be a great smoke. Thank you for great read and great review.

[Rye]

Another great installment!

[Phillys]

Great read, like how you stayed with it and gave it a chance!

[PapaDisco]

When I don't know if someone's a newbie or old pro, I proffer a Monte 4 as well. It covers a lot of bases, and while it can be variable I personally think it is less variable than the other mainstays: the Epi 2 and PSD4.

[CaptainQuintero]

Great story and review again pal, thanks!

[Cisco]

I enjoyed the read. To me, when on, Monty 4s are the embodiment of CCs. One cannot guarantee how a cigar will perform however, but it's the journey that makes the hobby so interesting. Thanks for sharing.

[MontrealRon]

How I loved letting my mind wander with your amazing story, while smoking a nice fresh Boli PC.

Would have lit a Monte 4 had I started to read first.

Thank you so much!!!

[Stogiedude3]

Loved the story and review. Next M4 will be a good one im sure!

[Babalouie]

Thanks for that great story!