Understanding Girlfriends/Wives/Partners

[Isotonic]

So recently hit a bit of a snag with my stogie hobby. And as usual that snag is my gf. I had always enjoyed the very casual cigar (usually as a result of a mate bringing home duty free sticks) but it was very irregular.

This year I took an interest and found that I loved spending time on a quality Cuban and sharing them with friends. I stress that even with my new found hobby I don't have the interest or the time to be smoking more than one a week. More like one a fortnight. It's a treat for me.

Then the other day the Mrs chimes in with the "It's a disgusting habit" and "you will catch the ebola virus". Nothing too over the top.

I guess my question is how many out there in FOH land have dealt/deal with a disapproving wife/gf/bf/partner?

What do you do to make them understand your hobby and interest?

Some of you may be bolt on cigar enthusiasts/addicts so I am guessing this isnt an issue for you as have probably always been that way. But for those who enjoy them only as a treat and for enjoyment... I am open to any form of story that will let me continue my love of a great CC.

[Hiroshiro]

I try to smoke one a week. My g/f hates smoke (but mostly cigarettes which i hate as well) but pretty much i just walk in hang up my clothes where there is good ventilation to air them out. Take a shower change into non smoked up clothes and usually good. It was pretty easy to to explain Cigars aren't cigarettes and explaining that I'm not addicted to them but akin them to a nice steak to be enjoyed from time to time and better when in good company.

[OZCUBAN]

My wife just doesn't like to see me enjoying my self LOL

Mentioned the Cuba trip the other day and she threatened me with divorce ....

And I thought is that what it takes LOL

[MIKA27]

Firstly, there is no talking sense into most women regarding cigars. They either argue it's disgusting and not good for YOUR health and or they lash out about the cost of YOUR hobby.

Trying to explain either is like banging your head against a wall, so I wouldn't bother.

My wife doesn't smoke whatsoever but she doesn't mind a Siglo VI (On a rare occasion) with me during summer with a beer.

What she really dislikes is the financial cost of supporting this hobby. I too only smoke one cigar a week or every two weeks on average, winter, even less so I hardly feel it is a big cost.

Oh.... But buying shoes and clothes is perfectly fine when shes caught out.

In the end, buy up and have them delivered to work. She'll never know.

[westg]

Blow in her face and she will follow you everywhere. ...............smoke

[polarbear]

My last girl friend was not a fan of cigars at all

We reached a compromise that I would only smoke when she was out of the house and if i did i was not to expect any intamacy from her for a while.

My advice would be to find somewhere you are allowed to smoke a cigar, either a local lounge (there are a couple in Melbourne) or the closest pub with a beer garden and smoke your cigar there.

Explain to her that this is something you enjoy and it helps youi to unwind and the 45min-1hr you will spend with your cigar will in turn make you a better partner to her because you will be relaxed and refreshed after your cigar.

Mention to her that you will do your best to ensure that you dont come home "stinking" like cigars and i'm sure she will come around eventually

If she doesn't you'll just have to sit down and consider which means more to you

A relationship is about give and take. I imagine she does things that bug you but you put up with them. Might be time to remind her of that...

Good Luck

[Jeremy Festa]

My wife just doesn't like to see me enjoying my self LOL

Same. I feel your pain.

Blow in her face and she will follow you everywhere. ...............smoke

Dear Lord Westy!

But in all seriousness. The health issue has fallen by the wayside, as my wife realises after 6 years in this 'hobby' that this particular argument really hasn't had an impact on me. Now she has taken a keen interest in the financial side of the argument. Understandably so, as I have gone way overboard! She has now started a champagne collection out of spite. Quite funny really.

For Isotonic's benefit, and similar to what Hiroshiro mentioned, the angle I take is 'it's like a nice steak.' It's a treat.

This is how I explain cigars to my wife, and to most people that do not completely understand it.

Both my wife and I are massive foodies. I explain that it is purely a gastronomic endeavour for me. Chasing flavour profiles, that sometimes include things that you cannot be found in food, like a grass, wood or leather flavours etc. And I think once you mention that you get enjoyment out of tasting these infinite flavour journeys and combinations without the calories, your girlfriend or wife, may sort of understand, even envy your 'hobby.'

[NMJoe]

Firstly, there is no talking sense into most women regarding cigars. They either argue it's disgusting and not good for YOUR health and or they lash out about the cost of YOUR hobby.

Trying to explain either is like banging your head against a wall, so I wouldn't bother.

My wife doesn't smoke whatsoever but she doesn't mind a Siglo VI (On a rare occasion) with me during summer with a beer.

What she really dislikes is the financial cost of supporting this hobby. I too only smoke one cigar a week or every two weeks on average, winter, even less so I hardly feel it is a big cost.

Oh.... But buying shoes and clothes is perfectly fine when shes caught out.

In the end, buy up and have them delivered to work. She'll never know.

You can also take the approach my wife takes with me when she buys _____________ (fill in the blank). "But it was on sale so I SAVED us money." Right, babe, and the 20 boxes I just bought were on sale so it's a wash, right? Money and wives are like oil and water (but perhaps I'm jaded - just a little). Good luck, my friend.

[melies]

Find a new Wife? Lol! my Wife is one of the rare few hat not only lets me smoke, but whenever she is in the mood will join me. communication gets you a long way, and now she always asks me to review my cigar for her and also if that would be a cigar that she would like.

[Guest rob]

My missus supports my interest and passion.

Though she does find the credit card bills hard to stomach months.

[LordAnubis]

I'm single. It's awesome

[westg]

For the Aussies in that 9 box sale today I just missed those No 1 LGC I am going to tell my wife I almost had them ...I almost had them ...as Rob said you gotta be quick West , I am sure she will say the same. But only with cigars though ...I am the luckiest man in the world she wants me to go after cigars that I don't have because she knows I love it..

My advice ...be honest it's easier and soooooo less stressful . Good luck amigo.

[sengjc]

How do you get Ebola from smoking stogies?

[Hiroshiro]

mmm LGC #1 ... in my dreams

[Fuzz]

Blow in her face and she will follow you everywhere. ...............smoke

[westg]

You got it...that's exactly what I meant.

[Tino]

How do you get Ebola from smoking stogies?

Store them in this!

[laficion]

The last time, my wife asked me to buy her a new wristwatch,I said ,"but honey,you have one and you never look at It, It's on

the STOVE" .

[Rushman]

I might very well be the luckiest man alive in this regard.

I married into a cigar family. The wife had the playa del carmen store before we married. Hell, I met her in a cigar shop in LA 8 years ago.

She doesn't smoke her own cigar much anymore but will take puffs off mine in maybe a 1:5 ratio.

She never ******* about my smoking......although she did take issue with my keen ability to smoke off the shelf but failing to remember to write it down. Makes inventory fun.

She inquires about what I smoked because she is interested not nagging

Her favorites include Trinidad and PL.

---

I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=19.390033,-81.404448

[meatball41]

My wife doesn't mind but she doesn't love it either. Like others above, I always try to time smokes when shes not around (tell her to go shoe shopping with the girls) and get showered and changed when I come back in the house.

[fozzie]

I find the best approach in dealing with the cigar vs bird issue is to play it down and act like smoking cigars is a normal thing for a civilised chap to do!

The last few times I've had girls over if they notice the humi or wineador I would just say "Really, you don't know any other cigar smokers? How very strange. You obviously don't get out much."

The latest squeeze came round to my way of thinking (she was informed that other opinions, although valid, are not correct) and even brought me a cutter and ashtray as recent presents! She has been turned so much now that she can say her fave stick is a JL#2.

[Philski]

Send her a poem

[Scdalak]

How do you get Ebola from smoking stogies?

Same way you get Malaria from smoking........

[Troels]

http://glenavalon.com/thebetrothed.html

Well my mrs lives with it, but complains when she finds I choose the cigars over her. We have a little girl a spend most evenings at home at the moment. Every no and then (admitted quite often at times ) I need some time alone, thats part of my Nature, and a cigar makes a perfect ocassion for that.

Taken into account how the public opinion on smoking - cigars not the least - is these days en Denmark, shes fair in her attitude I think.

[LGC]

Quite honestly, I could never stay involved with a woman that couldn't understand my involvement in my hobbies. It's like going to work every day and having someone give you chit for something your eating or drink. I smoke in moderation, and my wife knows this. She tells me to have a cigar when she knows I need it. She asks me if she can pour me a drink when I need one. She tells me to go fishing when it's been too long. If she doesn't like the way you conduct your life now... I guarantee it won't get any easier. I strongly believe in setting precedence and laying everything out BEFORE things get too serious.