Understanding Girlfriends/Wives/Partners

[Cohiba Stevie]

My girl supports me.

Like many people have mentioned, a cigar for me is a way to unwind, relax and be with my thoughts.

My woman is fully aware that it's more than just a hobby and that it's some thing I get genuine enjoyment and satisfaction from.

We are moving into our first home in January and I can't wait. I will be building a small shed out the back so I can enjoy a cigar year round.

But with that there will be compromise, I will change my clothes and brush my teeth when I'm done out of respect for her, even though she doesn't give a toss what I smell like like.

As we have gotten more serious over the last year and made concrete plans to build for our future, I haven't put an order in with the the prez in close to a year because I have had to curtail my cigar spendature. We have saved for both a deposit on a gorgeous new home and enough to kit the place out.

I couldn't have done this if I had been spending £100 a month on stogies. But when we move in January and the dust has settled I am looking forward to enjoying a cigar more regularly and get back into a routine of regular orders with the prez.

And all with the support of the love of my life...

I suppose I am quite lucky too.

[Croz71]

I'm a very lucky man...my wife not only loves smoking cigars but she is now starting to get a real passion for them.

She has a better palate than mine, often picking up on flavours before me.

She recently came back from Russia (her mother land) and brought back 2 boxes of Bolivar Emperador Russian RE with her.

The only downside to her enjoying cigars, is the budget now needs to be bigger. But I'm sure that will be fine with Prez. Lol :-D

[PigFish]

Sometimes you eat the bear. Sometimes the bear eats you! Which will you be?

People, spouses, bystanders… anyone willing to impose their rules, desires, morals, etc., will quote anything under the sun to get you to change from yourself to the mythical, "better person." I won't put up with that crap!

Here is an idea! Tell your spouse that you have urges to smoke several times a day. You control those urges well on your own. If she wishes to transfer the control of those urges from you to herself she can. All that she needs to do is to distract you somehow… You just fill in the blank with the form of distraction that suits you!

Hell, if it is a test of who is the best intentioned, let her know that she can change your habits if she is willing to do what it takes to get you to change!!! Once she gets sick of putting out…, she can go back to putting up!

(Sorry to the ladies of the forum!)

-Piggy

[jdo2110]

Wow! What an angle... "Very wise, very wise..."

[UpInSmoak]

Hahaha. Love it Ray!

[Lant63]

The main woman in my life is my mom, as I am only 19 years old. I just tell her that I need a cigar and go smoke on the back deck with my old man. I am lucky as she is fine with it as long as she doesn't see all packages that keep arriving.

The other lady in my life likes to take a few puffs from my cigars as well. She likes Cubans, women always like the expensive stuff.

I consider myself a winner twice!

[NJP]

Love the words of the Oracle (Ray).

[OZCUBAN]

Despite the post earlier my wife doesn't mind me smoking as long as it's not blowing on her and she even comes along to the odd herf here in the west

It's a simple trade off cigars V shoes handbags jewellery simple really lol

[Perla]

So sorry to hear/read about your trouble guys.

Being self in a "odd" situation - a woman who is smoking cigars - and quite often being confronted with social reaction and ressentiment, I can tell you.

I must confess my ego is big enough to make me laugh about bad situations.

Luckily my partner was not scared to death seeing my stash. And for me surprisingly came up with the question what fancy me smoking cigars. Didn't take a wimp of a second to open up my stash and provide a guide tour through the boxes, explaining the smells etc pp. Partner was impressed since them no problem came up.

And the thing with the bad breath, eating an apple after smoking will do quite a lot, if you like to kiss a bit later on...

You know an apple a day, keeps windows, ehhmmm the doctor, away.

[dicko]

I told my girlfriend very early on in our relationship that this hobby was very important to me (with the subtext of "more important than you") so she is generally supportive.

Sometimes she has a puff or two herself. She likes all the cohibas and expensive regional editions or course! Haha

[potpest]

Relationships are all about compromise:

For each box of cigars you buy; buy her a new pair of shoes or handbag of the same value.

It'll cost you twice as much but I can picture it now:

"Honey why don't you get some more cigars? How much are those Behikes? Yeah get two boxes."

[Upmann2009]

My wife just doesn't like to see me enjoying my self LOL

Mentioned the Cuba trip the other day and she threatened me with divorce ....

And I thought is that what it takes LOL

X2

Do I heard divorce? Same here... You will have stand your ground!!

[jazzbass]

Yeah, maybe cigars might not be as healthy as a brisk walk in the sunshine but self imposed bitterness, anger and stress is a killer as well. Some women LOVE being angry.

Its always fun to watch your better half when you look them in the eye, smile and calmly state that your cigar smoking will NEVER stop.

[Bigevul]

Well I'm lucky I guess...my wife introduced me at Christmas years ago with a pipe and tobacco..it then turned into cigars..which she supports...and as I sit in my new cigar room ..... She supports that too....holy crap I am lucky....

[polarbear]

My last girlfriend asked me I was concerned about my cigars and getting cancer

I replied "do you worry about getting hit by a bis every time you cross the road?"

She left not long after that and I've since met someone who loves me and my cigars

Shes says "cigars are so intrinsically you, how could I hope to make you give them up?"

I'm pretty lucky

[bresdogsr]

My wife of 30+ years has "put up" with me smoking cigars for the last 12 years. She usually doesn't complain unless the smoke goes her way. SHe actually bought me a humidor when I first started. As long as I don't go crazy and use "my" money it is all good.

[riazp]

my gf is not a fan of the cigars. But she knew i smoked cigars since we first started dating. I just dont smoke when i'm with her but she has no issues of me going out with my mates to enjoy a cigar and drinks.

[Daz]

Yeah, maybe cigars might not be as healthy as a brisk walk in the sunshine but self imposed bitterness, anger and stress is a killer as well. Some women LOVE being angry.

True story

The women in our lives either accept us as is or they don't, they are ultimately on a hiding to nothing living in a perpetual "rag week" a recent break up may be why i turned to cigars... I wanted something to celebrate the occasion with lol

[Professor Twain]

I'd been married for 30 years before I took up cigars, around 7 years ago. My wife doesn't like to be around smoke. She doesn't want to go with me to any get togethers at bars. But she'll sit with me out by the pool while I enjoy a cigar.

She hasn't objected to my cigar hobby at all. She has never once asked how much I spend on cigars. Since I usually smoke on our pool patio, and don't go out with friends for cigars more than once a week, it doesn't interfere with us having plenty of time together.

I think it has helped that we have so many years of a relationship where we both give each other space to enjoy our independent activities, while also enjoying things together. We don't try to control each other. We trust each other.

It's hard for me to believe that cigars and smoking would be the only bone of contention between a couple. Giving your partner the space to enjoy a hobby like cigars isn't that different than understanding that they want to spend some time with sports, church, reading, watching chick flicks or enjoying gruesome horror movies.

Life is no fun if you're living it with someone who is trying to control you and regulate what you do. I think that finding a partner who enjoys being with you, but who doesn't want to control or smother you, has got to be high on the list of features to look for in a partner. I'm a lucky guy, I couldn't stand being with someone who was on my back all the time about such a small thing.

[Omskakas]

My idea for OP:

1.) Start by admiring one of her hobbies. How it makes her happy, what other uses it has for her. Be honest.

2.) Explain what cigars mean to you, why do you want to smoke. Be honest.

Don't criticize her, don't argue with her. If she says cigars cause cancer or smell bad, just agree. If she says unpleasant things to you turn them back with smile and say something nice.

She can't keep her attitude and criticism up for long. If she asks why you are so nice even when she's acting like a *****. Explain that you've just smoked a fu**ing great cigar.

Then you have sex and problem solved.

[thering]

Normally when I have a cigar and my girlfriend is around I try to make sure I have a drink to give her. Either I open a bottle of wine she likes or mix her up a cocktail. Keeps her quite happy and whenever she feels like a drink she asks me if I would like a cigar.

[markmurase]

A girlfriend once threatened me to choose her or cigars. Shame, I do miss that girl sometimes

[Philski]

Slightly related story. I have had cats (moggies) in the past, and my current pair are purebred bronze Egyptian Maus, reputed to be quite intelligent.

Anyway, my past cats had always put up with smoke inside - cigars and cigarettes alike. However, by 2008, when I brought the two Maus home, the smoking ban in England had been up and running for about a year and I hadn't smoked indoors for a while. One summer's evening (slightly refreshed, probably) I got home and found the cats were out on their rounds. So I thought I would fling the windows open and smoke a cigar whilst watching TV, as I had always liked to do.

About ten minutes in, little Napoleon walked into the the room and - the memory is as clear as day - fixed me in the eye, sat on his haunches, and sort of huffed at me. After making a bit of a show of sniffing the air, he stood, arched his back, and curled one out on the spot, looking me in the eye all along.

He had never done anything like this before or since. But the message was clear and was taken!

[Daz]

About ten minutes in, little Napoleon walked into the the room and - the memory is as clear as day - fixed me in the eye, sat on his haunches, and sort of huffed at me. After making a bit of a show of sniffing the air, he stood, arched his back, and curled one out on the spot, looking me in the eye all along.

He had never done anything like this before or since. But the message was clear and was taken!

LMFAO brilliant... well, maybe not lol

[PigFish]

Slightly related story. I have had cats (moggies) in the past, and my current pair are purebred bronze Egyptian Maus, reputed to be quite intelligent.

Anyway, my past cats had always put up with smoke inside - cigars and cigarettes alike. However, by 2008, when I brought the two Maus home, the smoking ban in England had been up and running for about a year and I hadn't smoked indoors for a while. One summer's evening (slightly refreshed, probably) I got home and found the cats were out on their rounds. So I thought I would fling the windows open and smoke a cigar whilst watching TV, as I had always liked to do.

About ten minutes in, little Napoleon walked into the the room and - the memory is as clear as day - fixed me in the eye, sat on his haunches, and sort of huffed at me. After making a bit of a show of sniffing the air, he stood, arched his back, and curled one out on the spot, looking me in the eye all along.

He had never done anything like this before or since. But the message was clear and was taken!

…that't too bad! My girls love cigars!!! Well, one is gone now. RIP Lacey Lu.