The Ashes Series

[OZCUBAN]

What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne?

A waiter.

What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?

Retired.

What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?

A fisherman.

Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?

They haven't got any openers.

What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?

Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?

They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.

Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team?

The woman who irons their cricket whites.

What's the height of optimism?

An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

What do you call a cricket field full of Australians?

A vacant lot.

What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car?

Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both

[riazp]

LOL. Great year for us brits, we took the ashes and the lions defeated the wallabies

[Fuzz]

Not to take anything away from those victories, but we really didn't put up much of a challenge. We'd have been better off sending the local under 15's team.

[riazp]

Not to take anything away from those victories, but we really didn't put up much of a challenge. We'd have been better off sending the local under 15's team.

Agreed...but a win is a win...even if most of the lions were irish and most of the cricket squad is from south africa lol

[Blakes]

[bugman78629]

[Philski]

Not to take anything away from those victories, but we really didn't put up much of a challenge. We'd have been better off sending the local under 15's team.

May be true, but that's how we Brits feel a lot of the time when our team's on the football/rugby/cricket field. Takes me back to something a mate of mine put together after we won the epic Ashes 2005 series:

[Ken Gargett]

these, and a few more (difference between clarke and a funeral director - the director doesn't keep losing the ashes) all appeared in the monthly qld uni club cricket newsletter last month.

though they all seem a bit familiar from a few years ago but swapped around.