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Posted

This is the third one in 10 days along the same lines. Normally average one a month. I am always happy to educate politely... but this one just rubbed me the wrong way lol3.gif

The E-mail

Dear Rob

It is with great disappointment that I have received fake Montecristo Number 2 from Friends of Habanos.

While the cigars look excellent, there are inconsistencies with the gauge of the individual cigars. I have consulted with cigar friends who also noted inconsistencies with the foot of the cigars in particular the bunching of the foot. It is well known that such inconsistencies are testament to fakes.

I am very experienced in the world of cigars having smoked them for many years. My friends are even more experienced. I suspect these cigars have been rolled outside of Cuba using Cuban tobacco.

I will provide you one opportunity to make this situation right before posting on forums around the world that you are selling fake cigars.

I look forward to a speedy resolution to this matter.

XXXXX

My Response

Dear Moron.

Post away.

Rob

His Response

I have never experienced such appalling levels of customer service.

This is your last chance.

XXX

My Response

XXX

Purveyors of fakes normally aren't big on customer service.

Post away. Don't let fear hold you back.

Rob

His Response.

I have reported you to Habanos s.a and am now about to e-mail Pacific Cigar Company Australia and Hong Kong to report both your conduct and your selling of fakes.

I still seek a resolution to this matter.

My Response

My experience is that the cigars will be vintage before you get a response. Try these e-mail addresses for the respective VP's.

Happy Hunting.

Rob

24 hours later

Dear Rob

I have now had the opportunity to smoke one of the cigars and believe they are authentic.

My sincere apologies and I hope that this does not affect our ongoing business relationship

Best regards

XXXXX

My Response

Dear XXX

Given "birds of a feather normally fly together" you and your mates really must be a flock of **** heads.

Piss off and leave me alone.

Rob

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Rob, this is as good of time as any, I received my package in the mail from Czar and it was supposed to be (according to the shipping label) "A Photographic Book Of Australia" . You can understand my

Posted

Classic!!!!!! Nice job Rob, some people have zero tact. He obviously is new to the site and doesn't realize threats will get him nowhere with you.

Posted

I simply cannot understand how somebody thinks this would be a way to solve a problem:

"I will provide you one opportunity to make this situation right before posting on forums around the world that you are selling fake cigars."

"My experience is that the cigars will be vintage before you get a response."rotfl.gif

Posted

Hahaha this is hilarious! There are times I wish I could respond to some of the emails i have to deal with like that.

I can't understand how some people can just go all in with the accusations up front also, certainly not doing themselves any favours.

Posted

Laughing very hard as my boli RC dwindles away. Wonder if it is a fake;) Cheers to honesty and jeers to ignorance.

Posted

The funniest thing I've read all day!

Posted
clap.gif Outstanding Rob! Job Well Done thumbsup.gif
Posted

I simply cannot understand how somebody thinks this would be a way to solve a problem:

Bingo!!!

Hey Rob I have a few questions.

Hey Rob can you explain this?

Not a problem at all to lengthy e-mails or a phone call which I actually prefer. One of our top clients today was worried about authenticity back in 2006 (love you mate ok.gif ), and it was on the basis of the NEXUS site and outdated information on bands. No problems. He never held a gun to my head. It was simply an educational process.

You get what you give.

Posted

Hahaha that was great!!

Ohh and rob I recieved a box of Monte Especials this morning from you guys and they look absolutely fabolous!!! Big thanks to you an your team!

Posted

Rob, this is as good of time as any, I received my package in the mail from Czar and it was supposed to be (according to the shipping label) "A Photographic Book Of Australia" . You can understand my disappointment when I opened the package and did not find the aforementioned Photography Book, but instead beautiful oily cigars. I've let this go on for years, not once have I ever received the right package.

You have one chance to make this right, or I will bring down a forum based vengeance the likes of which known only to Zeus himself.

My demands for years of abuse:

1 Photography Book of Australia

3 sets of Cosmetic Makeup

5 orders of Gourmet Paintbrushes

7 Sets of Encyclopedia Books

1 Australian Doll

2 Sets of Oil Based Markers

8 Sets of Glass Laboratory Test Tubes

You have 24 hours!

  • Like 1
Posted

Rob, this is as good of time as any, I received my package in the mail from Czar and it was supposed to be (according to the shipping label) "A Photographic Book Of Australia" . You can understand my disappointment when I opened the package and did not find the aforementioned Photography Book, but instead beautiful oily cigars. I've let this go on for years, not once have I ever received the right package.

You have one chance to make this right, or I will bring down a forum based vengeance the likes of which known only to Zeus himself.

My demands for years of abuse:

1 Photography Book of Australia

3 sets of Cosmetic Makeup

5 orders of Gourmet Paintbrushes

7 Sets of Encyclopedia Books

1 Australian Doll

2 Sets of Oil Based Markers

8 Sets of Glass Laboratory Test Tubes

You have 24 hours!

Hahaha good one!!

Posted

Rob, this is as good of time as any, I received my package in the mail from Czar and it was supposed to be (according to the shipping label) "A Photographic Book Of Australia" . You can understand my disappointment when I opened the package and did not find the aforementioned Photography Book, but instead beautiful oily cigars. I've let this go on for years, not once have I ever received the right package.

You have one chance to make this right, or I will bring down a forum based vengeance the likes of which known only to Zeus himself.

My demands for years of abuse:

1 Photography Book of Australia

3 sets of Cosmetic Makeup

5 orders of Gourmet Paintbrushes

7 Sets of Encyclopedia Books

1 Australian Doll

2 Sets of Oil Based Markers

8 Set of Glass Laboratory Test Tubes

You have 24 hours!

LOL. You mean you didn't get any of the "Lisa specials"???

  • Post-Mortem Autobiography of Steve Irwin
  • *** blow-up doll

LOL. lmao.gif

Posted

Rob, this is as good of time as any, I received my package in the mail from Czar and it was supposed to be (according to the shipping label) "A Photographic Book Of Australia" . You can understand my disappointment when I opened the package and did not find the aforementioned Photography Book, but instead beautiful oily cigars. I've let this go on for years, not once have I ever received the right package.

You have one chance to make this right, or I will bring down a forum based vengeance the likes of which known only to Zeus himself.

My demands for years of abuse:

1 Photography Book of Australia

3 sets of Cosmetic Makeup

5 orders of Gourmet Paintbrushes

7 Sets of Encyclopedia Books

1 Australian Doll

2 Sets of Oil Based Markers

8 Sets of Glass Laboratory Test Tubes

You have 24 hours!

I am now on the ground flailing with laughter as my wife worries she needs to call the medics! It just gets better and better.

Posted

Rob, this is as good of time as any, I received my package in the mail from Czar and it was supposed to be (according to the shipping label) "A Photographic Book Of Australia" . You can understand my disappointment when I opened the package and did not find the aforementioned Photography Book, but instead beautiful oily cigars. I've let this go on for years, not once have I ever received the right package.

You have one chance to make this right, or I will bring down a forum based vengeance the likes of which known only to Zeus himself.

My demands for years of abuse:

1 Photography Book of Australia

3 sets of Cosmetic Makeup

5 orders of Gourmet Paintbrushes

7 Sets of Encyclopedia Books

1 Australian Doll

2 Sets of Oil Based Markers

8 Sets of Glass Laboratory Test Tubes

You have 24 hours!

Dear BBQ King

Haven't you got a nervous cow to molest somewhere?

While I understand "Everything is Bigger in Texas" it obviously doesn't pertain to brain matter.

Put down the bottle, take some mylanta and call me in the morning.

Yours faithfully

Rob

Posted

LOL. You mean you didn't get any of the "Lisa specials"???

  • Post-Mortem Autobiography of Steve Irwin
  • *** blow-up doll

LOL. lmao.gif

I have a local source for both! nyah.gif

But I can't discuss sources.....

Posted

Dear BBQ King

Haven't you got a nervous cow to molest somewhere?

While I understand "Everything is Bigger in Texas" it obviously doesn't pertain to brain matter.

Put down the bottle, take some mylanta and call me in the morning.

Yours faithfully

Rob

For being so well traveled, you should know we only molest cows in the morning and goats in the evening.

C'mon mate - It's Science!

P.S. - I will settle out with you privately if you just send the Australian Doll!

Posted

Rob, this is as good of time as any, I received my package in the mail from Czar and it was supposed to be (according to the shipping label) "A Photographic Book Of Australia" . You can understand my disappointment when I opened the package and did not find the aforementioned Photography Book, but instead beautiful oily cigars. I've let this go on for years, not once have I ever received the right package.

You have one chance to make this right, or I will bring down a forum based vengeance the likes of which known only to Zeus himself.

My demands for years of abuse:

1 Photography Book of Australia

3 sets of Cosmetic Makeup

5 orders of Gourmet Paintbrushes

7 Sets of Encyclopedia Books

1 Australian Doll

2 Sets of Oil Based Markers

8 Sets of Glass Laboratory Test Tubes

You have 24 hours!

Baahahaha! Awesome!

Posted

Rob, this is as good of time as any, I received my package in the mail from Czar and it was supposed to be (according to the shipping label) "A Photographic Book Of Australia" . You can understand my disappointment when I opened the package and did not find the aforementioned Photography Book, but instead beautiful oily cigars. I've let this go on for years, not once have I ever received the right package.

You have one chance to make this right, or I will bring down a forum based vengeance the likes of which known only to Zeus himself.

My demands for years of abuse:

1 Photography Book of Australia

3 sets of Cosmetic Makeup

5 orders of Gourmet Paintbrushes

7 Sets of Encyclopedia Books

1 Australian Doll

2 Sets of Oil Based Markers

8 Sets of Glass Laboratory Test Tubes

You have 24 hours!

You are faaaaaaaaaar too greedy! I only demand authentic kangaroo scrotum

http://www.australiagift.com/scrotum_shop/scrotum.htm

...and some kiwi wine... (talk to Ken, he loves the Kiwis!)

party.gifnyah.gif

Posted

Agreed. You left something out, Rob....

"....and go (moderated) yourself!"

stir.giflaugh.pngdevil2.giflmao.gifrotfl.gif

Yes..not my "finest hour"....but it was after a long lunch ....and late in the evening lookaround.gif

Ken reported me.

Posted

Too funny! This topic gave me a nice laugh and smile tonight.

But, at the same time with a laugh, It's really a shame someone could treat you so harsh and immaturely... That man doesn't even deserve your quality product... I hope his whole box is full of plugged sticks or wakes up with infestation of beetle holes.

Posted

I wish you had trolled him a bit further, something along the lines of, "oh please don't report me, I don't want to lose my business. What can I do to keep this between us?"

I think you should have a forum section called, "Letters to Rob," where you post emails like this. Instant classic.

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