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Posted

1. Vicious koala attacks.

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2. Thieving kangaroos.

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3. Crocs attacking helicopters. (Totally normal.)

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4. Spiders. Everywhere you look is spiders. It’s all spiders.

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5. Wallabies playing with a rolls of toilet paper like cats.

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6. Your favorite grocery stores getting sassy.

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7. The census takers too.

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8. Oh, and the police departments.

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9. Visits from Australia’s most majestic animal, the emu.

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10. So elegant. No wonder they put it on the Australia’s official crest.

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11. Everyone swearing all the time. (Even the trains.)

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12. An elderly population that doesn’t mess around.

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13. Newspaper articles about cows photobombing horses stuck in a fences.

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14. Nightmare koalas waiting for you in your garage, presumably to consume you.

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Fuzz: Oddly enough, this isn't all that uncommon to see...

15. Sperm donor sites that know what’s up.

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16. Wild dingoes killing and eating sharks on the beaches.

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17. Stormtroopers unicycling in the rain.

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18. Men named Jack Mehoff. (Say it slowly.)

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19. The worst vegetarian restaurants.

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20. Kangaroos lounging on pristine beaches.

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21. Well-coordinated renditions of The Simpsons in the opinion pages.

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22. Attacks from whatever the hell that thing is.

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23. No visits from the pope, apparently.

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24. Fishermen using sharks as bait to catch even bigger sharks.

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25. Crime so bad that even the prostitutes are getting out of town.

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26. Swooping kookaburras… which sounds funny, until you see how giant a kookaburra’s beak is.

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Posted

lol, nice post :)

Posted

No. 26. I once saw a guy get fully punctured through the cheek by a Kookaburra, on Fraser Island, just as he was biting into his sandwich. Then later that same day, I walked back to our room to grab a cigar (we were staying at Kingfisher Bay Resort), and when I returned, my then girlfriend, now wife, was sun-baking, topless, with a hat over her face, and a dingo was literally smelling her feet. Crazy times!

Posted
when I returned, my then girlfriend, now wife, was sun-baking, topless, with a hat over her face, and a dingo was literally smelling her feet. Crazy times!

Thought that was going to be the start of dingo stole my bikini movie

Posted

...and Aussie expats in the US wonder why all Americans think the island is full of nothing but Mick Dundee-types...

nyah.gif

But we are.... lookaround.gifliar.gif

Posted

when I returned, my then girlfriend, now wife, was sun-baking, topless, with a hat over her face, and a dingo was literally smelling her feet. Crazy times!

Photo or it didn't happen! laugh.png:P

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