OZCUBAN Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you do not know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive. A GREEK CORPORATION You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. You eat both of them. The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. The IMF loans you two cows. You eat both of them. The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk. You are out getting a haircut. AN IRISH CORPORATION You have two cows. One of them's a horse.
Edwhatever Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Going to school for a degree doesnt make you smarter than this! Hilarious, and ingenious!
Guest rob Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Good find, mate! Being a wog, the Italian one made me laugh!
Fuzz Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. Arrest the newsman? What newsman? There never was any newsman! That report was by subversive radicals, trying to destabilise the economy and government!!
sengjc Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 MALAYSIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You tell your friend from the Ministry of Agriculture. He gets the Ministry of Agriculture to buy the two cows from you for the price of 20,000 cows. You split the profit with him. Later you hear that the Ministry of Agriculture does not know what to with the cows they acquired. You call your other friend who is the Minister of Rural Development. He gets the Ministry of Rural Development to lease the two cows back to you to produce milk but paying you for the service of milking 40,000 cows. You split the profit with him. Then you hear the Ministry of Welfare is looking for some milk...
El Rushbo Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 I actually have a poster of this called, "E-Cow-Nomics" up in my classroom. The kids love it, the smart kids love it more.
OZCUBAN Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 MALAYSIAN CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You tell your friend from the Ministry of Agriculture. He gets the Ministry of Agriculture to buy the two cows from you for the price of 20,000 cows. You split the profit with him. Later you hear that the Ministry of Agriculture does not know what to with the cows they acquired. You call your other friend who is the Minister of Rural Development. He gets the Ministry of Rural Development to lease the two cows back to you to produce milk but paying you for the service of milking 40,000 cows. You split the profit with him. Then you hear the Ministry of Welfare is looking for some milk... Well done and so true
CanuckSARTech Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive. ...... Awesome. LOL.
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