weekend incident

[ramon_cojones]

Shlomo brining the lulz

One thing to take the high road and that's fine but there really is always another option. I went to a 4th of july bbq that aes9 invited me too earlier this month and I was packing 3 smokes. When I got there (mostly women on the back patio) I learned there were no smokers in the bunch and they weren't used to cigar smoke. No problem, I didn't smoke where it would bother them. My man poured me some chard and we went onto the lawn out back to herf along with the husband of one of the gals (we were severely outnumbered but that is not a bad thing mind you). There were two circles of chairs that were completely empty until the three of us grabbed some in the first ring. We had a great time and then it was time to eat. When I got back with my second helping (food was great) I discovered the first circle of chairs to be completely taken. No problem, ate standing up and then it was time for another smoke. I grabbed a chair at the empty circle 15 ft back and aes' wife joined me for a smoke (gave her my rass she's awesome). Within 30 mins all of the girls (along with aes) had relocated in my circle and the questions began. It always comes in phases, first phase is "the look" and one girl said ciggy and cigar smoke smelled the same. Then come the questions, so we had to drop knowledge on the history and hobby itself, then came understanding. They saw his wife smoking along with me and everything was all gravy. Soon they were passing around my 98 fundy smelling it and admiring it but I wasn't about to let them have my birthday smoke (jk they weren't going to smoke it). It was a wonderful time I must say.

I think it stems from misinformed ignorance pertaining to the pastime but once they become educated on the subject they realize that the aroma of a fine cigar isn't really all that offensive like they've been trained to think.

[brazoseagle]

1). Find out who all will be attending said upcoming party.

2). Send out an Evite to everyone attending, cordially inviting them to all go **** themselves.

3). Become known in your circle of friends as the one who throws the most baller, bad ass parties around.

4). Every time this "B" plans a party, throw one of your own on the same night.

Outcome:

No one goes to her parties = Everyone goes to yours = you are in control of the party = You can do and smoke whatever the hell you please!!!

5). Send a thank you note to her expressioning your sincere appreciation that she did, in fact, go **** herself!

Problem Solved!

Or just go to the party and duck tape 6 cigars together in a vindictive helix of reckoning, and smoke all 6 at one time, all whilst carrying a battery powered hand held fan and making sure the unworthy and wayward get their share of your essence! Walk through that biatch like you own it! It. would probably be a good idea to smoke a box of cigars in a small indoor space, ( ie porta potty, car, toll booth, hall closet or similar) in the same clothes you plan to wear to the party. I would suggest a T Shirt that says on the front : " I'm a Grown Ass Man!" and on the back: "If you don't like it, I'll punch you in the junk, yes even lady junk !". As pungent as it may be, victory will be yours!!!! Fill your pockets with granola and whole foods gift cards, and for whoever complains, scatter some out like you're feeding birds, that should distract them long enough for you to ash in their hair and make your escape to the nearest Hooters!

Or you can take the high road, it's whatever. Take heed, very few lambs ever eventually turn into lions!

"On my signal, unleash Hell!"

[brazoseagle]

Just my 2 cents.

[Habanakane21]

Just my 2 cents.

I LIKE IT!!

[Scdalak]

Lonely Cohiba

Post of mine from a year ago... Really upsets me, looking back, I wasnt on School Property and the Kids playing were 12-14 Years old... When will it end for the "opressed"?? I ofcourse did the "right"? thing, but my blood is boiling just thinking about it..

Unfortunately Shlomo there were no sisters in the vicinty to sleep with..

[IcedCanuck]

So the BBQ was last night only it wasn't a BBQ, alcohol wasn't being served, and it was basically just a BYOB type thing. When that out, right before going, I really didn't want to go but thought it would look bad if I said that to my g/f. So I went, it was lame, and we didn't stay for much longer than an hour or two. Nobody said squat to me about the cigars and I felt no need to apologize to her again. The 'smokers' all had to leave her porch (although they were calling it a balcony for some reason) when they wanted to have a smoke. Next time I go to one of her family's get together (not at her place) I'll probably still bring my cigars and just wait for the people with a stick up their arse to leave before bringing them out.

[Scdalak]

I'll probably still bring my cigars and just wait for the people with a stick up their arse to leave before bringing them out.

Well its obvious it was the person here who you mentioned is a B*$&^%#, again you did the right thing on her turf, but in the future at a neutral location?? Smoke everything you got and tell her to stick it!!!!!

[CaptainQuintero]

The finest form of flattery is imitation remember, say you're sorry by hosting a vegan BBQ with natural iced tap water and Enya on the sound system.

[CanuckSARTech]

....Or you can take the high road, it's whatever. Take heed, very few lambs ever eventually turn into lions!

"On my signal, unleash Hell!"

Sorry, David, but I read this as in-your-face-brashness.

Don't take my, or anyone else's, push to take the high road as a weakness. That's how I'm interpreting what you're saying there. Sometimes, those who have been smartened by too many confrontations/fights/conflicts, and have learned from past mistakes, realize that there's better ways to do things than by brute force, be it of words/fists/attitudes.

Hey, if taking the high road wouldn't work in this occasion, and she continues to press the issue, then yes, completely granted, that's when "it's on", so to speak.

But to come out guns blazing from the get-go is nothing but immature, rude, unchivalrious, and lacking in decency.

I've dealt with too many people in my life that tout that sheep/lion/wolf analogy, to try to put others down. But, when push comes to shove, and people's resolves and merits are truely tested in drastically life altering ways, it's amazing how many people are proven to be baby sheep, wearing a lion's cheap halloween costume. To me, it's always better to be a sheepdog - loyal, cuddly and kind when/as needed, but able to stand behind your bark when its time to fend off a real threat from the wolves (or wannabe lions).

[Colt45]

So the BBQ was last night only it wasn't a BBQ, alcohol wasn't being served, and it was basically just a BYOB type thing. When that out, right before going, I really didn't want to go but thought it would look bad if I said that to my g/f. So I went, it was lame, and we didn't stay for much longer than an hour or two. Nobody said squat to me about the cigars and I felt no need to apologize to her again. The 'smokers' all had to leave her porch (although they were calling it a balcony for some reason) when they wanted to have a smoke. Next time I go to one of her family's get together (not at her place) I'll probably still bring my cigars and just wait for the people with a stick up their arse to leave before bringing them out.

Onya

"Family" get together - some events you smoke at, some you don't - no muss no fuss. Some of the guys have made great points (as have you) - checking

with the hosts, finding a spot away from the crowd, etc. But once again, I think you've been the better "man" in not making an issue of it at someone

else's home, and again feel you've nothing to feel bad about - either way.

[brazoseagle]

Sorry, David, but I read this as in-your-face-brashness.

Don't take my, or anyone else's, push to take the high road as a weakness. That's how I'm interpreting what you're saying there. Sometimes, those who have been smartened by too many confrontations/fights/conflicts, and have learned from past mistakes, realize that there's better ways to do things than by brute force, be it of words/fists/attitudes.

Hey, if taking the high road wouldn't work in this occasion, and she continues to press the issue, then yes, completely granted, that's when "it's on", so to speak.

But to come out guns blazing from the get-go is nothing but immature, rude, unchivalrious, and lacking in decency.

I've dealt with too many people in my life that tout that sheep/lion/wolf analogy, to try to put others down. But, when push comes to shove, and people's resolves and merits are truely tested in drastically life altering ways, it's amazing how many people are proven to be baby sheep, wearing a lion's cheap halloween costume. To me, it's always better to be a sheepdog - loyal, cuddly and kind when/as needed, but able to stand behind your bark when its time to fend off a real threat from the wolves (or wannabe lions).

It wasn't brash or to be in anyone's face. My whole post should be considered to be a comical and humerous composition and the irony of unbalanced opposing takes on the situation was meant for pure comedy gold.

Why so serious?

Example of ironic unbalanced opposing comedy :

" Hey honey, your sister looks a little like Charlize Theron........but a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter!"

I highly doubted you posted this story to sincerely put into practice the numerous random jewels of advice that were given, yet more for just dialogue and a personal interest piece.

[dball]

Or just go to the party and duck tape 6 cigars together in a vindictive helix of reckoning, and smoke all 6 at one time, all whilst carrying a battery powered hand held fan and making sure the unworthy and wayward get their share of your essence! Walk through that biatch like you own it! It. would probably be a good idea to smoke a box of cigars in a small indoor space, ( ie porta potty, car, toll booth, hall closet or similar) in the same clothes you plan to wear to the party. I would suggest a T Shirt that says on the front : " I'm a Grown Ass Man!" and on the back: "If you don't like it, I'll punch you in the junk, yes even lady junk !". As pungent as it may be, victory will be yours!!!! Fill your pockets with granola and whole foods gift cards, and for whoever complains, scatter some out like you're feeding birds, that should distract them long enough for you to ash in their hair and make your escape to the nearest Hooters!

:rotfl: This is friggin' hilarious!

[IcedCanuck]

Or just go to the party and duck tape 6 cigars together in a vindictive helix of reckoning, and smoke all 6 at one time, all whilst carrying a battery powered hand held fan and making sure the unworthy and wayward get their share of your essence! Walk through that biatch like you own it! It. would probably be a good idea to smoke a box of cigars in a small indoor space, ( ie porta potty, car, toll booth, hall closet or similar) in the same clothes you plan to wear to the party. I would suggest a T Shirt that says on the front : " I'm a Grown Ass Man!" and on the back: "If you don't like it, I'll punch you in the junk, yes even lady junk !". As pungent as it may be, victory will be yours!!!! Fill your pockets with granola and whole foods gift cards, and for whoever complains, scatter some out like you're feeding birds, that should distract them long enough for you to ash in their hair and make your escape to the nearest Hooters!

I could hear Denis Leary's voice as I was reading this post ... hilarious!

[CanuckSARTech]

It wasn't brash or to be in anyone's face. My whole post should be considered to be a comical and humerous composition and the irony of unbalanced opposing takes on the situation was meant for pure comedy gold.

Why so serious?

Example of ironic unbalanced opposing comedy :

" Hey honey, your sister looks a little like Charlize Theron........but a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter!"

I highly doubted you posted this story to sincerely put into practice the numerous random jewels of advice that were given, yet more for just dialogue and a personal interest piece.

No worries, David.

Like I said, it was just "as I read it." I know you've made some awesomely fantastic posts on here, and contributed a ton (including to my hunger), in comedic and other ways. And yes, that whole center portion, of duct taping 6 cigars together, etc., yes I got the irony and whatnot in there.

But it was just the underlying tone, and the bookends on either end of that center paragraph that piqued my interest.

Again, just a different perspective, I know. But one lone voice can get the crowd in a fury, and it was just, I felt, such a starch contrast to what I think/thought the situation needed.

Phil's his own man, and these are all just opinions. I know we're all just giving tidbits here, and he'd take what he wanted from anyone's (or no one's) posts.

I just wanted to put in a counter to your suggestion, if it was fully serious in the first place.

No worries. Misunderstanding on my part then on the tone and/or intention.

Cheers, and onwards to another world crisis.

And Phil, good on you for taking the route you did. Now that the table's evened up, and you were gentlemanly on her turf, she can't begrudge you anything. You didn't stoop to her level then, and that gets you huge props and debate points with both your girlfriend and her family. If it continues to be an issue in the future, its then your game to win.

[brazoseagle]

No worries, David.

Like I said, it was just "as I read it." I know you've made some awesomely fantastic posts on here, and contributed a ton (including to my hunger), in comedic and other ways. And yes, that whole center portion, of duct taping 6 cigars together, etc., yes I got the irony and whatnot in there.

But it was just the underlying tone, and the bookends on either end of that center paragraph that piqued my interest.

Again, just a different perspective, I know. But one lone voice can get the crowd in a fury, and it was just, I felt, such a starch contrast to what I think/thought the situation needed.

Phil's his own man, and these are all just opinions. I know we're all just giving tidbits here, and he'd take what he wanted from anyone's (or no one's) posts.

I just wanted to put in a counter to your suggestion, if it was fully serious in the first place.

No worries. Misunderstanding on my part then on the tone and/or intention.

Cheers, and onwards to another world crisis.

And Phil, good on you for taking the route you did. Now that the table's evened up, and you were gentlemanly on her turf, she can't begrudge you anything. You didn't stoop to her level then, and that gets you huge props and debate points with both your girlfriend and her family. If it continues to be an issue in the future, its then your game to win.

It's all good! If I was the only one that thought it was funny, it was worth it, because after I read it when I was done I literally laughed out loud, and that rarely happened from my own pen.

If a poster asks an opinion of others, ergo, my opinion. I give it. And I don't really care much if it's shared by the masses or even the majority.

If I see it snowing outside, I'll probably suggest to you you may want to put on a jacket, you may think a sweater is better, the guy next to you might not even think its cold outside and the guy next to him might think its way too cold to even step foot outside. There's no right or wrong.

[IcedCanuck]

It's all good! If I was the only one that thought it was funny, it was worth it, because after I read it when I was done I literally laughed out loud, and that rarely happened from my own pen.

If a poster asks an opinion of others, ergo, my opinion. I give it. And I don't really care much if it's shared by the masses or even the majority.

If I see it snowing outside, I'll probably suggest to you you may want to put on a jacket, you may think a sweater is better, the guy next to you might not even think its cold outside and the guy next to him might think its way too cold to even step foot outside. There's no right or wrong.

I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats! Seriously though I did find it amusing and got a good chuckle out of it. On a side note does this mean the fireworks are over? I'm going to put the popcorn away if they are lol.

[CanuckSARTech]

What fireworks???

Sorry Phil. Not much for fireworks here. From what I gather, both David and I are mature enough to have cordial discussion, whether we agree or not (for how little of the latter there is, actually).

Yes, I know it's not much in line with what's been going on here lately during the last few months , but it is what it is. I'd gladly let David grill me a heart-stopping steak while I'm busy beating down those pesky neighbourhood kids for looking at him wrong.

[brazoseagle]

No one's upset, especially me! This world spins using the power of a population of gathered different ideas and opinions, it's the true intelligent gentleman that can share and discuss opposing views and thriving matters cordially in a cuth manner that makes us gentleman with class, that sets us apart from many in this world. Debate is not arguing just as making love is not the same as "diggin' some guts!"

[khomeinist]

Unchain the wolves!!!

Classic post David.

Not sure about the whole 'sheepledog' thing but some bark, some cower, and some just live....

More smokin....etc

[ramon_cojones]

wait people thought david was serious?

i enjoyed it

[brazoseagle]

wait people thought david was serious?

i enjoyed it

Exactly

[Orion21]

David, I laughed out loud. Funny stuff man . . . but I do want one of those shirts! Get some printed up and I'm in!

[IcedCanuck]

So my g/f has informed me that we have been invited back to her sister's place for another BBQ and pool party. The first thing she said to me after that was that cigars have been banned from the backyard but I am free to smoke them in the front yard (away from the party and whole point of being there). I asked if cigarette smoking has also been banned from the backyard and she answered no. I asked if smoking the green stuff was also banned from the backyard when there are no children present and again the answer to that was no. Well at least I know where I stand. The weather is supposed to be nice and I can't say no to a BBQ either so I'm definitely going to go. After what happened last time I had no intentions of bringing any cigars but I thought it would be kind of funny if I brought a DC and then disappeared to the front yard for a couple hours to smoke it. I'm probably not going to that either but I think it would be funny. What I think I will do is bring a few cigars and shortly after eating dinner I'm going to politely say goodbye to everyone and head off to the cigar lounge (I'll make sure they all know that's where I'm heading off to) where I can enjoy a little culture, relaxation, and freedom of expression in a friendly non-judgmental environment away from all yuppies (I'll leave that part out for politeness).

[Cohiba Stevie]

I suppose its different for everybody but I cant believe that people would sanction smoking the green stuff over somebody smoking a cigar when the kids are gone.

Those people are the exact type of people i hate socialising with. I would skip the bbq. Head to the lounge my friend.

[canadianbeaver]

Sounds like a plan and I hope you have a great time Phil.

But I gotta ask. One look at you and your girlfriend, who is terrific by the way, did they REALLY think they were going to change your mind about your attitude or behavior?

I mean come on...