Working with your Son

[El Presidente]

So my eldest Ben starts next week.

17 ready for University, Part time job of 15-20 hrs a week with us here.

Saint Angela (wife/mother) has already given me an earfull:

No Booze

No Cigars

No Bad influences ( seriously....in this place )

No walks into the dark side of whatever I get into

I tend to send all newcomers into the cigar salt mine (picking and packing) under supervision for 6 months. In Bens case Kurt will be his immediate boss....then Diana....then Smithy...I don't come into the equation. They can flick him if it is deemed necessary. I use to enjoy the fear nephew Simon had for Lisa....he didn't make eye contact or speak to her for the first year He ended up being a stellar part of the team but the first 12 months he was like a mouse in a cattery.

Has anyone here ever worked with their kids? Seriously I am a tad on the nervous side.

Any tips most appreciated.

[Fuzz]

I worked for my father when I got out of high school for about 6 weeks. He was a GM for a clothing company and he sent me to work in the warehouse. Being the son of the GM, he made sure I knew that there was an expectation that I work harder than anyone else to show there was no favouritism.

For 6 weeks, I worked my ass off decommissioning that warehouse and setting up the new one. I got a lot of respect from the other workers because I didn't freeload off me daddy.

You just have to tell Ben that, as the son of the owner, your expectations of him are higher than that of your employees. Remind him of the acronym TANSTAAFL; There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.

As for when Angela asks him how working with you is going, remind him of another acronym DTDS; Don't Tell Diddily-Squat! You're in enough trouble as is without him adding to it!!

[frenchkiwi]

sorry, no experience here, if you were Up Over i'd say tell all the staff "no special treatment" but Down Under where there is no respect for inherited privilege he'll get an extra kicking just for being your son so no worries there He isn't Rob Ayala jr. III so that will help. And not working directly with him/over him, at least at first, is a winner!!

[Bartolomeo]

Rob,

This is a cool time for all involved

Make the most of it

It may not be the smoothest but cherish these moments

Bart

[Kapsimalis]

Hey rob it's that guy that sent you the really long pm a few days ago here sam. Lol anyways i can Give you some insider info from the sons side. I have worked under my father a handful of times and at first I was expecting him to be a bit of a tight ass on me more so then usual. Not that that's an issue for me I'm used to tough love and I grew up so far to 20 just fine. Anyways I told my dad to treat me as if I'm just another employee of his. And that he did. I was a bit shocked he wasn't watching my every move. For example he showed mantua task and how he wants it done. After I said "got it". He said good and went off to do whatever he hadto do. Having that sort of instant trust in me to do the job on my own made me not only confident but at ease. He then checked my work and what he wanted corrected, he told me. And as soon as I sort of screwed around he said "stamata me tis malakies sou!" that's Greek by the way. Translated means stop with your idiocrocies. Anyways rob bottom line is just be firm/fair and treat him just like any other employee. Work can be fun As long the task gets complete d correctly. I find working for my father a great experience because I pick up great skills and traits from him. Which will help me in the future when I open my restaurant.

[Maron76]

Rob, this is a subject near and dear to my heart as I cherish ( and loath lol) the time I spent working for my father. .... Ride him hard!! and at the end of each day remind him that you love him and how proud of him you are. Then also remind him what size boot you wear and how uncomfortable it would be removing it from his arse should he ever go home and complain to his mother about dad being unfair. My best bit of advice is to never, ever, no matter how bad something he has done may seem, never scold or reprimand him in front of his fellow co-workers. Wait a minute and pull him aside. Even over something that may seem insignificant. Because at the end of the day you are still dad, he will take it personally and feel embarrassed if it is done out in the open.

All kidding aside, I would not change one thing about the time I spent working for him.

[Michel1968]

just be firm/fair and treat him just like any other employee.

This!!!

And the other way around, your son should treat you firm and fair and like any other employer he might encounter (before taking over or starting his own company)

[CigarAsh]

I'm the second generation in a 40+ year old family business. My brothers and I have run it for the past 20 years. Now we all have kids in college. My 2 sons (20 and 17) are both studying business and keep saying they'll just come to work for me.

After college I did my own thing for a few years, determined to make my own way. But reality hit and the opportunity to join the family business was too good to pass up.

So, I went to work for my dad (and mom who also was in the business), they threw me to the wolves and assumed I was smart enough and motivated enough to succeed. I worked hard, learned new skills to make myself useful and looked for places where I could make a difference in the business.

With my own kids, I'm not so sure I can take that kind of hands off approach, but I like what others have said here. Tell them they have to be better than everyone around them and force them to prove themselves. But I think I'd prefer they "prove" themselves somewhere else and avoid the pressure of working around family (which isn't always easy).

[Colt45]

First rule of Palacio:

What happens at Palacio, stays at Palacio.

[riazp]

First rule of Palacio:

What happens at Palacio, stays at Palacio.

This...the last thing you want is your son ratting you out to mom/wife! Like others said, just make it clear that at work hes an employee like anyone else, and that when packing any package going to Riaz to include a few extra cohibas

[Freefallguy]

Mate-

Has he been down the Coast yet? St. Angela has enough to worry with there.

My sons came on for summers working construction in the field. Co-workers educated them in the ways of the world, I provided moral compass. Ben will model your behavior more then listen to your words. Set that model as to what you aspire for him, which may not be necessarily who you are.

If he teeters onto the side of reprobacity, blame it on Smithy.

[Orion21]

Rob,

I have worked with my dad for over 10 years and it has been quite the ride. What I appreciate is the respect I have gained from observing how hard he has worked for years to build our business. I'm sure you and your boy have a fantastic relationship and working together will only bring you closer as he learns the ins and outs of Czar. My only advice would be not to call him "the kid." This still annoys me at 31 as much as it did when I was 18. Cheers and happy holidays Rob!

[randomhero1090]

It all depends on the relationship. At Ben's age, I had a hard time taking criticism from my father. As I got older, we worked better and better together, no matter the situation. So it all depends on how “mature” your relationship is with Ben.

However, having him report to someone else is key. And I think it is fair for you to have a conversation with his immediate supervisor clearly stating that Ben should receive no special favors.

[Scdalak]

Rob, If this is a short term endeavor for you both, "cheers" nothing better than working with family , especially at his current age. Assuming this will be no more than a summer job year to year, its a win win for all involved! Especially your wife who will always becomforted by knowing he is in good hands!

Should this be a long term endeavor, please let me know so i can email you the 1001 reasons why family should not work together!! (Based on 25 years experience ofcourse) If you value your relationship with your son, you wil heed this warning!

[winelover]

Good luck Rob. It's going to be tough on Ben handling all those habanos knowing that he is not allowed to smoke them or even try them.

Hope it goes well and who knows one day it could be Ayala & Son in some kind of guise.

[winelover]

Good luck Rob. It's going to be tough on Ben handling all those habanos knowing that he is not allowed to smoke them let alone try one.

Hope it goes well and who knows one day it could be Ayala & Son in some kind of guise.

[JohnnyC]

Rob, cherish you time with Ben. Keep the memories close so you can enjoy them for years to come. I worked with my father for a short time years ago ( when I was a young man ) and now that my father is gone I look back at those memories with fondness. Don't be to hard on the lad. Remember he is a reflection of you.

[LeafLover]

Let others manage him. Will help preserve your relationship.

When he gains more experience, teach him what you know. Like a yoda to a young master Luke.

Then he'll feel like he's working with you and not for you. Will do wonders for his confidence and his admiration towards you.

[docbp87]

Make sure that whoever his immediate supervisor is feels comfortable being honest with you about his performance. If your boy is not doing his share, his boss needs to know he can tell you about it, without your being upset, since he is your kid.

How old is he? What are the odds that he will actually be able to avoid smoking any cigars, or indulging in any of the other vices that you fellas peddle down there? (If Mrs. Ayala happens to be reading, this previous statement is entirely in jest, your husband runs the cleanest, most morally-on-point business in the world, and is a perfectly appropriate environment for all ages!)

[First Lady]

very annoyed I am not going to be there to break him in Rob but I will look forward to it when I do eventually come back

He will work out once he knows to keep his mouth close ,LOLOL

I am sure Diana will keep him in line

[capnshazam]

I worked with my father doing construction off and on for a few years and I regret not sticking around to learn more from him before he died. Both about the construction industry and more importantly all the other things that a father teaches his son. By no means did we have a bad relationship, I just wish I spent more time with him in that environment in order to learn from him. I would wholeheartedly encourage you showing him everything you can and like previous posters have said make sure you tell him that your proud of him and enjoy having him around.

[Plato]

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