This should offend about half the population

[OZCUBAN]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For those that don't know about history, here is one condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals, and

2   Labor.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminium can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Liberal movement...

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the Liberals by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Labor movement.

Some of these labor men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy Labor achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that the Liberals provided.

Modern Laborites and Union leaders like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard Labor fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury lawyers, journalists, ABC staff and group therapists are Laborites.

Liberals drink domestic beer, mostly Carlton or XXXX. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Liberals are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Liberals who own companies hire other Liberals who want to work for a living.

Laborites produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production.  That is why most of the laborites created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Laborite may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Liberal will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more laborites just to piss them off.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to have another beer. 

 

 

 

[#2 man]

Cheers

[jawofboston]

Awesome! It took me a moment to get the drift as I'm in the USA, and here "liberals" are on the left (with "labor"), while free-market advocates are called "conservatives".

[cigarroverzulu]

Awesome! It took me a moment to get the drift as I'm in the USA, and here "liberals" are on the left (with "labor"), while free-market advocates are called "conservatives".

Yeah +1 "what he said"

[Warren]

I was going to reply to this earlier but I was too busy drinking XXXX and laughing at the bludgers.

[cigcars]

*Not offended at all!! In fact 'twas a breath of fresh air to see "liberals" and "labor" spoken of without the connotations we're saddled with here in the States. As was previously stated earlier on the board, on our side of the world it's Conservatives vs. Liberals (which includes Labor too). Ahhhhh!

[bolivr]

There were hard men in the labour movement in the unions. They did a lot of good hard work. Nowadays they seem to have been replaced by the soy latte drinkers who see the union as a means of getting themselves a safe seat and into the Alice in wonderland parliament.

There they do little apart from organising the numbers to support their parliamentary career. And support their loony mates who think we are so childlike we cannot handle tobacco in anything other than plain packaging. Heaven help us.

[BobKincaid]

Very frustrating to see this post compared to American politics and realize that there's an unwritten rule against discussing American politics on these boards.

I will, however, observe and adhere to the rule.

No need - post has been moderated / deleted

[cigarroverzulu]

Very frustrating to see this post compared to American politics and realize that there's an unwritten rule against discussing American politics on these boards.

I will, however, observe and adhere to the rule.

No need - post has been moderated / deleted

I'm confused? My post was here last night!!!

[jjdolphin]

I definitely laughed out loud.

By the way the word liberal was initially used in the US for the Libertarian point of view, emphasized limited government with individual freedom and civil liberties. I believe it was similar in the 17th and 18th centuries in Europe.

[PigFish]

I liked it Ozzy! The terms may change but the ideology behind them remains the same!!! Cheers mate. -the Pig