Ryan Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I got my iPhone pickpocketed outside the Salon Rojo 2 weeks ago, after asking directions on the way home. Completely my fault, because I’m an idiot. Word of advice, when asking directions from a group of Cuban taxi drivers at 1 am, don’t show them your map application on your iPhone 5, nor wear the shorts with the shortest pockets you have.. I saw Hamlet the next day in the shop and talked to him about making a police report for my travel insurance company in an effort to get something back. “I don’t want to spend 5 hours dealing with this stuff Hamlet”, “No problem”, he says, all the police stations have a English speaking cop to deal with this tourist stuff, as long as it’s just for your insurance company it’s simple. So we go out and, Hamlet being Hamlet, he whistles down a passing cop car. I get directions to the nearest station, down the street beside the Saratoga Hotel if anyone’s interested. So I go in and tell the reception cop what I’m there for. He tells me to wait. After 30 minutes waiting I’m given a wave to go outside with another cop and instructed to get in the back of a police car with two officers who drive me across Habana Vieja. I had to ask them where we were going. That was fun actually, getting stares from Cubans and tourists, “What’s that idiot doing in the back of a cop car”. We arrive at the Real Fuerza fortress, obviously the main station in Habana Vieja. Nice building, I count myself lucky to have had an incidental insider tour..They wouldn't let me take pictures though. I spend another 30 minutes explaining what I’d like to report and giving my details to reception there . Then I’m told to wait. (You can smoke in the waiting area) After another 45 minutes I’m told to follow another cop into an interrogation room. This room had ceiling cameras and a two way mirror on a wall. “Cuban two-way” in that it was a window, with car window tinting sticker on it, behind which I could see 2 heads moving about. In this room I had a 2 hour interrogation, convincing me that my phone was not stolen but lost. This guy had no English and in my rubbish Spanish I was probably implicating myself in the arrest of the Cuban Five! Then we got into role-playing where the interrogating cop was "me" and I was a “robber”. He puts my passport in his pocket and tells me to try to take it out. At the thought of being asked by a Cuban cop, on camera and in front of a two way mirror, to basically assault him I started laughing. Ironically, it was my laughing which really annoyed him. Then things took a change, he told me he had kids, he asked about mine, we got chatting, all fine. Then he says, “If you swear on your kids’ lives that nobody in Cuba sees it, that it is only for your insurance company in your own country, I’ll make out a report for you stating that your phone was stolen”. “Fine” I say, “no problem”. Another 30 minute wait as he has lunch while typing the report, fixes the printer, fixes the mouse, basically “makes” more printer ink. He prints the report, signs, stamps and folds it. Then he says “Now, I’ve done you a favour, I need you to do me a favour” with a long stare.. Not wanting to obviously bribe a police officer on camera I try to be subtle so I say “Oh please let me buy something for your kids!” This obviously offends him terribly and he tells me slowly and purposely , “No, I do not want you to buy anything for my kids, I want you..to give me..money..now”. Oh alright. He was delighted with the 20 pesos I gave him and we left the room friends! Walking back to Partagas to give Hamlet a bollicking, I opened the police report I got. The first word I saw was “perdido”. I hadn’t realised I knew so many Spanish expletives. I’d spent 5 hours and 20 pesos to buy a report telling me I lost my phone. The thing is, thinking back about it now, it’s really very funny and I wouldn’t change a thing. Trying to squeeze money out of my insurance company is another thing. The story of my time in hospital on the Thursday morning isn’t quite as funny..
zathan Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Wow, I would be furious but reading that story was entertaining. Thanks for sharing.
IcedCanuck Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Sorry to hear you lost your phone but you got a pretty cool story to tell out of it at least.
oliverdst Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 It reminds me when I was in Colombia and was face to face with FARC. Not funny but a great story.
stargazer14 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Thats is a great story and memories are all you have in the end!
Stanislaw Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 great story, just don't ever tell my wife or she'll definitely never let me "drag" her to cuba.... what's this about the hospital?? hope you are alright....
Ryan Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 sorry to hear about your phone, crazy story! The phone isn't a big deal, even with the report saying "lost", the insurance should pay out, besides I probably saved a couple of hundred euro on needless foreign phone calls.
CUBANO Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Great story. take it from a Cuban. In Cuba you have to laugh about everything if not you go crazy.
CanuckSARTech Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 I got my iPhone pickpocketed outside the Salon Rojo 2 weeks ago, after asking directions on the way home. Completely my fault, because I’m an idiot. Word of advice, when asking directions from a group of Cuban taxi drivers at 1 am, don't... GEESUS LORDIE!!!!! WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND SANCTIMONIOUSLY EVIL AND FUN....what were you doing OUTSIDE of the Salon Rojo at 1am?!?!?!?!?! That's the BEST time to be INSIDE!!!!!!! Only heavenly deliciousness is in there at that time. There's nothing that would make you want to leave early.... The story of my time in hospital on the Thursday morning isn’t quite as funny.. ....Unless you found Carlos-aka-Carlotta-the-boy-girl-playtoy.
Nino Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 GEESUS LORDIE!!!!! WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND SANCTIMONIOUSLY EVIL AND FUN....what were you doing OUTSIDE of the Salon Rojo at 1am?!?!?!?!?! That's the BEST time to be INSIDE!!!!!!! Only heavenly deliciousness is in there at that time. There's nothing that would make you want to leave early.... LOL ! You darned right Keith, was wondering myself - I mean, after admitting it happened at the Salon Rojo, why claim it was outside ... Sorry Andy
El Presidente Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I got my iPhone pickpocketed outside the Salon Rojo 2 weeks ago, after asking directions on the way home. Completely my fault, because I’m an idiot. ....you took advice off Hamlet ? Every interaction I have had with he police in Havana has made me feel like a walking ATM.
Ryan Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I've no problem at all with admitting I've been in the Salon Rojo. I was there a couple of times this trip. There was stuff for sale in the men's room I wanted to buy.. There'll be a thread on that this week once I have Yiorgos try some of it.
mkirk76 Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Awesome story! But what's with the reluctance on the police's part to file a "stolen" report? You should submit this exact recount to your insurance company, and maybe they'll be more understanding of the "lost" claim.
Ryan Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I would imagine that in Cuba, like a lot of countries that depend on tourist income, there is pressure on the police to keep reports of crime against tourists at a minimum. This is also very likely one if the reasons that the official HIV rate is so low..
obviousadams Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 Great story. I'd like to hear the others alluded to in this thread as well.
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